Yin and Yang
by mabelreid
Summary: When the mind is severly traumatized, one or more personalities may emerge as protection to the fragile psyche. This is the story of Reid's alter ego and his fight for dominance over Reid, just as he meets the one girl who will capture his heart and soul
1. Him

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n I've been working on this for most of the summer. It's nearly finished so you will see daily updates. _**

**_Warning: I'm not a mental health professional, nor do I know all there is to know about multiple personality disorder. This will not be true to a real case of multiple personality disorder. This is my take on what might happed if Reid had another personality and he had to hide it from the team to keep his job. There will be a case and a new girl for Reid to complicate matters. _**

**_Him _**

"That's fifty you owe me," The tall, wavy haired man said.

"I don't pay up to cheaters," said the heavyset man wearing a green tee shirt that stretched over his gut.

"I wasn't cheating," The tall man said. Smoke eddied around them in competition for clean air. The jukebox changed songs to an old country and western tune about Delta Dawn and her faded flower. The tall man smiled. "I told you I haven't played pool for years. It must be all luck."

"We don't take kindly to hustlers here," said the fat man's shorter and fatter friend.

"Why don't we play double or nothing?" The tall man suggested. "Surely you won't say no to a chance to win your money back?"

"Why don't we beat the money out of you instead?" The first man tried to throw a punch.

The tall man grabbed his hand in mid decent and yanked his thumb had hard enough to hyper-extend the tendons. The fat man screamed in pain, falling to his knees.

The fat man's friends whipped his cue through the air at the tall man's head. The tall man ducked under the cue and slammed his fist into the man's gut. He grabbed the cue as the man fell. The fat man reached out with his unhurt hand his eyes blazing. The tall man whipped the cue across the back of the man's shoulder.

"That's enough," A very large bouncer grabbed the fat man's companion.

"This your bull dog," The fat man asked.

"I'm no one's bull dog," Said Darryl the bouncer. "He saved my life once so back off or I'll let him teach you a lesson."

The tall man laughed. "Now Darryl, don't go scaring these two, they're harmless."

"Get out of here. I see either of you in here again and you'll wish you'd never come back." Darryl promised them as he cracked the knuckles of his huge hands.

The two men left so fast they tripped over each other. The tall man roared with laughter. "Thanks for the help."

"You didn't need it, but I was getting bored." Darryl said.

"Buy you a drink?" The tall man offered.

Darryl clapped him across the back. "I'm not supposed to drink on the job. I can't crack heads if I'm drunk."

"In that case, I think it's time to move on and find some company." The tall man said.

Darryl laughed. "Like you've ever had trouble with the ladies." He winked and indicated the door. "Have fun."

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The heavy bass backbeat dominated the metal music that blasted through the huge one room bar. He leaned against the oak wood of the bar, most of his weight on his right arm and elbow, and watched people dance. His eyes roamed over the room looking for a face he liked. One young woman wearing a purple camisole and black jeans smiled at him. He smiled back, but moved his eyes from her face to another group of women in one of the booths across the floor.

One of the women studied him, her deep black eyes held his gaze like a powerful magnet. The rest of the room, the music and other women ceased to exist as he watched her take a slow sip of her drink. He raised the glass of whiskey he drank in salute to her. He didn't see the couples, the groups of women and smaller groups of men that constantly moved around him and blocked his view of her eyes.

"What's she drinking?" The tall, wavy haired man asked Raul the bar tender.

"Corona with lime," he said.

"Get me one. I'll take it over to her."

Raul smirked at him and slid an ice cold long necked bottle down the bar. The man caught it easily and pushed away from the bar.

"Go get her." Raul said over the music and the crowd.

The man paused to wink at his friend then began making his way through the gyrating crowd to his beautiful new conquest.

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"He's coming over here Monique," Sandra said.

"I can see that." Monique took a last long pull on her beer.

"Be careful," Maria advised. "I've heard stories about him."

"I've heard the same stories. I'm hoping they're true." She said looking his long lean body up and down as he wound his way through the crowd with catlike grace.

"You _hope_ for a one night stand." Sandra remarked as she fiddled with her gold chain bracelet.

"It's Friday night, pre-med is making me crazy, and I need some stress relief."

"Just be careful," Sandra hissed just before he joined them.

"Hello ladies," he said his eyes only on Monique. "Raul said you like Corona. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty."

"I'm glad you did." She took the beer from his hand and drained half of it off. "Would you like to dance?" She took hold of the blood red polo shirt he wore and tugged him toward the dance floor.

The song changed just as they joined the rest of the dancers on the floor. The beat accelerated as she began to move as sinuously as a snake in her low cut siren red dress and matching heels. He stepped up close to her and put a hand on her hip as he matched her movements so that they resembled to snakes in a mating dance.

"You move like water over rocks." He said in her ear.

The spicy scent of his aftershave sent little chills up her back. He turned her around so that her back rested flush against his chest. His hands guided her hips so they slowly gyrated against his body as the music pounded around them and the dance floor filled with those eager to lose themselves from the dreariness of their lives.

He slid his hands around her waist and up to her breasts. "So the stories I've heard about you are true." She sighed, leaning back into him as his hips ground into her back.

"What have you heard?" He asked with a laugh in his voice.

"That you never leave here with the same woman twice. That you don't have relationships, just very passionate one night stands." She practically had to yell, but no one seemed to notice their conversation or the way his hands took their liberties with her body in the middle of the dance floor.

He kissed her neck with lips that felt like warm silk. "The stories are true. Does that bother you?"

"No… I'm not looking for true love tonight."

He spun her around to look at him. His eyes twinkled down at her with mischief and lust as he led her threw the crowd. The music changed again as they found the door to the outside and the waiting black sky and stars.

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He opened his eyes to a splitting headache and a sun-filled unfamiliar room. Panic set blood crashing through his veins as the adrenaline pushed the fog out of his head. The walls were painted light rose and right above his head was a still life painting of creamy pink and white roses. He rolled to his back and froze as someone else moved next to him with a little snuffling noise.

Oh God… It had happened again. He looked to his right and nearly jumped off the bed in shock despite knowing what he would see. She lay asleep with her black hair half covering her beautiful face. Her shoulders were bare and the color of light coffee.

_Damn it!_

He carefully pulled back the covers and groaned. His own, unclothed body jumped out into goose pimples at the cool air in the room. First priority was to find his clothes. He looked around frantically and found jeans hanging over the arm of a glider rocker in one corner of the room. He pulled them off the chair and began looking for his boxers as he kept one eye on a woman he didn't know.

The boxers were lying next to a short red silk dress with spaghetti straps. He looked over at the woman again. She'd turned over in her sleep so that her long hair fell away from her face. She truly was beautiful. He blushed scarlet and yanked on his boxers. He pulled on the blue jeans and the polo shirt he found at the foot of her bed. His hands shook hard by the time he pulled on the socks and shoes. His control was slipping again. Why? He'd been able to keep his two halves melded and happy for years. Why now?

"I won't let you destroy my life." He hissed under his breath.

"_You can't stop me. I like being free." _

"Stop it," Reid said angrily. "She'll hear us."

She rolled over to her side again so he grabbed his phone from the floor and hurried out of the room. It took him a minute but he found the outside door.

"_Don't worry about her. She only wanted a taste not the entire banquet." _

"Shut up!"

"_I don't think so. You're the one that doesn't know how to have fun or be free. I give us that." _

He hurried down the corridor of the apartment building and into the elevator, his heart racing hard. "Please just leave me alone."

"_You don't get it! I can't leave you alone. We are the same. Get used to it." _

He was lucky, no one got on the elevator and no one passed him in the entrance hallway as he left the building for the sunny day outside.

His apartment had never looked as good as it did that early Saturday morning. He hurried up to the fifth floor and down the quiet white painted hallway to the last door on the left and his northeast facing apartment. He had to fumble his keys into the lock three times before the door opened. It slipped from his shaking hands and banged against the white painted wall with a bang he was sure could be heard all over the building. He shut off the alarm and shut the door. He stood with his back against the door breathing in and out as if he'd just run a mile.

"My name is Spencer James Reid." He said aloud.

The room in front of him was his living room, filled with books and a large plasma screen television. The recognizable and old furniture brought here from his mother's house began soothing the pounding of his heart. He hurried into the bathroom and stared into the mirror over his white porcelain sink.

"_You can't keep me hidden forever." _

"My name is Spencer James Reid."

"_You need me!"_

"Please just go away."

He closed his eyes and waited in his self-imposed darkness for _him_ to go away. The other voice fell silent and he was alone in his head again. He took a deep breath and stripped off his clothes for a shower. If he could just have this day without a case, he could force _him_ back into submission again and everything would be okay.


	2. Her

**_Disclaimer: please see my profile_**

**_A/n many thanks to all my readers. I'm behind individual review replies, but I will get to all of you soon. Thanks for your support. _**

**_Her_**

"Here you go Dr. Reid," said the perky blonde-haired woman behind the counter as she handed him his usual coffee order.

He breathed in the scent of the wonderful concoction as he passed her a few bills. "Smells great," he said in a tone reserved for the reverent atmosphere of a cathedral.

"Does your girlfriend know you talk about coffee like that?" Carly asked.

"I don't have a girlfriend." He blurted out as she counted out his change.

Carly smiled at him, "That's too bad."

"Some of us are in a hurry," interrupted a woman behind them. She carried a briefcase, wore a black suit and a sour expression. "You want to speed up this love connection.

"Sorry," Reid said, blushing to the roots of his hair.

He hurried away from the counter, missing the look Carly gave the older woman in his anxiety to get away from the embarrassment of others staring at him. The last empty table sat next to the bank of east facing windows so he grabbed it. He had half an hour before he had to get to the train, so he pulled a book of crossword puzzles out of his messenger bag and attempted to concentrate on them.

After a fruitless five minutes, he put aside his cooling coffee and began staring out at the traffic on the street to the north of the café. All of those normal people out there making their way to work, to the market, or even home after a night shift grated on his nerves. He hadn't had another blackout over the weekend, but that didn't make him feel any better about the big one Friday night. What if he'd run into someone at work? What if he'd run into Morgan? After his drug addiction, he'd be tossed out of the BAU for sure. His worst fears had happened. He couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Excuse me," a very shy and nervous voice said next to him.

He looked up to see a young woman standing there. She had dark blonde hair pulled up off her face with something he thought was called a butterfly clip. She wore gold-rimmed glasses that covered green-hazel eyes.

"Oh, um hello," he stuttered.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but there're no other tables. I have a few minutes before my train and I thought…"

"Oh, ah yeah, you can sit here if you want." He pulled his coffee closer and moved his bag to make more room on the table.

"Thank you," she sat down, put her own messenger bag on the table and her coffee near her right hand."

"Are you a student?" They said to each other at the same time.

She giggled, "I'm a senior at UVA."

"Really…" He forgot to be shy even though little butterflies slammed around in his chest as he stared at her oval shaped face. "I work for the FBI."

Her face went pink and her eyes lit up. "You're an FBI agent. That is so cool." She gushed.

"Well, it's a lot of hard work. It's pretty stressful at the BAU."

Her eyes widened at his statement. "You're one of the profilers?"

His face was flaming hot now. "Yeah… I'm a profiler."

"That's so awesome… How long have you worked there?" She asked after taking a sip of her coffee.

"I've been with the BAU for seven years." He said.

"You don't look old enough for that." She said looking at his crossword puzzle and the one word, he'd managed to fill in so far.

"Actually, I was twenty-one when I joined. There was a profiler named Jason Gideon who gave a lecture on profiling at UVA when I was there. He convinced me to apply at the Bureau. I did, and he pulled strings to get me into the BAU."

She studied him for a long time as he wondered what she was thinking. "You must be really good," she said.

"It's a team effort. None of us do more than the others." He said.

"Why do I think you're being overly modest?" She asked as he played with the edge of his paper cup.

"Are you sure you haven't taken profiling classes?" He asked feeling the heat in his face increase.

"Didn't you know it's not polite to answer a question with a question?" She shot back with a grin.

"Oh… Well I'm sorry I didn't think…"

"It's okay, I'm just teasing." It was her turn to go very red in the face. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You didn't offend me." He thought hard for a minute on how to say what he'd been avoiding. "It's just that I'm not good a conversations with pretty girls."

She began to laugh while his stomach twisted into knots. He should just get up and leave right now before something awful happened like… Oh man, don't think about that now.

"I think you're very good at talking to girls. I'm usually pretty shy but you're easy to talk to." She said over another sip of coffee. "Is there something else wrong?" She asked and concern made her eyes go dark.

"No… I'm just a little tired. The weekend was a little unusual. I guess I didn't sleep very well." He said softly while his forgotten coffee cooled next to his elbow. "I'm sorry… You just met me and I'm dumping on you."

"It's okay," she said encouragingly. "Will you at least tell me your name?"

"Oh right, my name is Dr. Spencer Reid."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Spencer Reid."

She stuck out her hand, which he took eagerly. Her skin was soft and warm; it made shivers run up and down his back. "You can call me Spencer."

"Okay Spencer," she readily agreed, letting go of his hand. "My name is Kira."

"That's a pretty name." He breathed inanely.

"Thanks," she said and looked down at her watch. "Oh, I better get going or I'm going to be late." She gathered up her bag and her coffee. "Um, see you later." She said hesitating for a minute, and then she left looking very disappointed.

_You should have asked for her number._

_Her number, he hadn't had the foresight to ask for her last name and now she was gone. Nice way to handle things Romeo. _

He ignored the other voice in his head and gathered up his puzzle book and his coffee. He was going to be late too and that would just give Morgan reason to tease him. He couldn't risk his friend sensing his troubles.

He left the café only to realize that he was hurrying much faster down the street than he had to while his eyes roamed around looking for something.

_You let her get away. What's the matter with you?_

He hurried down the stairs to the subway as fast as he could. Luckily, his bad leg was nearly healed. It didn't hurt so he pushed harder through the crowds thronging the platform. He looked around for a dark green tee shirt and jeans. The problem was that he saw several green tops and many jeans. It was hopeless. Then he noticed a woman dressed that exact way getting onto the train. She turned as if she felt his eyes on her. It was Kira. Then the doors to the train closed and the train hurtled off down the tracks.

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Kira entered the café two days later, an hour before she had to be to class. The Wednesday morning crowd was cresting and the café was half-full of commuters and other students. Here and there at tables sat people alone with computers or books with coffee and muffins. She took her place in line behind a woman with a large black purse talking tersely into her cell phone.

"I told you to keep her there until I get there…. No, I don't have time for that tomorrow."

Kira tuned out the angry voice by looking over at the display cases holding blueberry, chocolate chip, cranberry and other delicious looking muffins. They called out to her promising to make her forget a certain pair of chocolate colored eyes.

_Yeah… Like muffins and coffee ever help anything that sucks in your life._

She pulled the denim jacket she wore over a white tee shirt closer over her abdomen. That must be why Dr. Reid didn't try to get her number. Who wanted a girl that carried around an extra 35 pounds?

_Why did he look like he wanted to talk to you in the train station? _

"Hey Kira… You okay," Carly asked as the angry woman on the phone gathered up her coffee and cheese Danish.

"Yeah… I was just trying to talk myself out of that cranberry muffin over there."

Carly grinned. "I hear you… They are very good today."

"You're not helping." Kira said irritably.

"I think you need some coffee. Why don't I get your usual while you decide on that muffin?"

Kira stared at the muffins as the coffee espresso machine growled and whined around her. The man behind her kept looking at his watch and then at her as though she was keeping him from a life or death situation. She turned her eyes back on the muffins.

"Hey Carly… Give me one of those muffins!" She capitulated angrily.

Carly winked at her, "Coming right up my friend."

Kira took her coffee and her muffin to the farthest table from where she'd sat with Dr. Reid. _At least the cranberry muffin wouldn't reject her_, she thought as she took a big bite.

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He watched her struggle with her decision to leave the muffins alone. She was so predictable when she took a table at a window that made it perfect for watching her from his car. She was just the right type he needed, shy, unsure of her appeal, which would make it easier. She'd never believe that someone could be interested in her so she wouldn't put up her defenses against him. Still… he'd have to watch her for a while, just to be certain that of the best time to strike.


	3. Doubts

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n Here's the next chapter my loyal readers. Thanks again for your kind support. You're the best. _**

**_Doubts_**

Kira dropped her messenger bag on her small kitchen table. She went back to the living area and picked up the television remote. She wanted a little escape. She flipped through the channels to the Food Network. Guy Fieri was in the middle of demonstrating a pork tostada that looked delicious. She sighed and changed the channel to a rerun of Bones. All she needed at three in the afternoon was something to get her snacking. Bones promised to be gross enough to take those thoughts right out of her head.

She went to her computer and brought up her internet search engine. There was nothing new in her email so she minimized it and opened one of her games while Bones played in the background. Her homework called out to her, but she ignored it in favor of trying something that would keep her mind off Dr. Reid.

Another three days had gone by since she'd seen him in the café. He hadn't come back. Was he all right? Was he off on a case?

_He's probably avoiding you. _

Why would he do that though, it wasn't as if they knew each other well enough to want to avoid each other. Still, she couldn't deny the fact that, as nice as he'd been, he hadn't tried to get her number.

_He said he was shy._

She turned off the game and turned her attention to the television. She should've gotten an apartment with a roommate instead of living alone. Someone to talk to would be great, especially if that other person was another girl. She could get some good advice about Spencer instead of trying to figure it out on her own.

She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She left her hair down, but caught back at the sides with jeweled clips that matched her pink tunic. She hated makeup, so her face was clean. She took off her glasses and wondered if she should just get contacts. Would he like her better without the glasses? Some guys didn't like glasses; they thought you were some kind of smart nerd or something.

She sighed… The truth was that he didn't like her because she wasn't some perfect size two. He was gorgeous and probably had women falling all over him. Not that she blamed them, who could resist his short wavy hair and those beautiful chocolate eyes. He had the most incredible face that reminded her of a Renaissance painting.

She went back to the living area and selected a book from her bookcase. If she got lost in The Twilight Saga for a while, maybe thoughts of Edward the Vampire or Jacob the Werewolf would get her mind off him.

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Reid stowed his messenger bag under his seat on the jet and strapped in for take off. He leaned his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. The last week had been one of the worst he'd spent since getting clean from the Dilaudid.

They'd been called to California again. Los Angeles had a serial killer abducting, and killing young men. He'd hold them for a week and torture them to death. All the men had been sodomized with objects before they were killed. The man caught just before he killed his fourth victim, had been abused by his stepfather and younger stepbrother. The men he targeted had looked like his bother and father when he was a boy and a target of their abuse.

Reid tried to think of anything else that would get his mind off the case and those men, who'd been around his age. How could it be that family could always cause the most pain to the most people? His thoughts turned to his father and the conversation they'd had three weeks ago. It was weird to think that he had begun to forge a relationship with his dad after nearly twenty years.

His thoughts jumped to Kira, the girl in the coffee shop. He still couldn't believe that he'd chickened out with her.

_It's a good thing. If you have another blackout in front of her…_

He shifted in his seat as the plane began to move down the runway. He couldn't consider getting to know a girl when Ian could show himself at anytime. She'd freak out and probably call the police at the very least.

_Don't let Ian chase her away. You've been able to control him so far…_

Oh yeah… he'd been able to control him just fine which is why he, Spencer Reid, had woken up in a strange bed with a strange woman.

_Don't be such a prude_. Ian spoke up in his head.

_Why can't you be silent and leave me ignorant of you, like Adam was ignorant of Amanda?_

_Because if I leave it up to you, we'd never have any fun._

_Life isn't all about fun… I have to be responsible._

_That's why you need me Spencer._

_Shut up!_

"Hey Reid, you okay?" Morgan said from next to him.

Reid opened his eyes and realized they were in the air ascending fast through the late afternoon sky. White clouds were enveloping them as he tried to remember what he'd been thinking. "I'm fine."

"You were muttering in your sleep." Morgan said, "You must have been dreaming. I heard you say something about Amanda."

Reid's heart jumped into his throat. He had to be more careful. Certainly sleeping on the plane was out of the question until he got a hold of Ian.

_What if Ian's the dominant one? What if he does to you what Amanda did to Adam?_

Reid pushed that voice down and tried to stop the rampant beat of his heart under his chest. Hopefully Morgan wouldn't be able to see it beating though his sweater vest.

"It was a dream, that's all," he said to the man he considered one of his best friends.

_Then tell him the truth! _

"Are you still having a lot of nightmares?"

"No… just at times when it's a bad one like today. I'll be okay."

"Okay man…" Morgan shut his eyes.

Reid turned his attention to the view of the white clouds and blue sky outside his window. He looked back at Morgan, then back at the window. No, asking Morgan for advice on love would only get him teased. He looked back at his friend. Morgan was sleeping, so waking him up wouldn't be very nice.

"What is it Reid?" Morgan said opening his eyes.

"I don't know what you mean." Reid lied, keeping his eyes off Morgan's face and on the window.

"I can't sleep over here if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

"Morgan!"

"Don't sound so exasperated kid. You're pretty restless over there." Morgan touched his arm.

"Alright… I met someone and I don't know what to do about it." He said very quickly, finally looking over at Morgan as he talked to see if the older man was laughing. "So go ahead and tease me. You can laugh if you want to, just make it fast."

"I'm not going to laugh at you Reid." Morgan said with unusual calm. "After what we just saw, I'm not in the mood for teasing."

"Are you sure you're Morgan?" Reid asked suspiciously.

Morgan finally smiled. "Of course I'm Morgan. So tell me about this girl."

"Well I was in the coffee shop last Monday morning. I was drinking some coffee and attempting to kill a few minutes before I had to go to the train. She asked me if she could sit down. She's a student at the University of Virginia."

"That's all well and good Reid… What does she look like?" Morgan said his eyes beginning to twinkle again.

"She's about five four with long dark blond hair and green hazel eyes. She's nice, and her name is Kira. She's shy," he blurted out.

"She sounds cute my friend. Did you get her number?"

"Um… we talked, but I didn't get her number. I chickened out."

"Reid," Morgan said exasperatedly as he frowned at his young friend.

"I know… You don't have to tell me." Reid said turning his face back to the window where the blue skies outside was turning purple with the setting of the sun.

"Okay… no problem, I know exactly who to call."

"Morgan please don't call her." Reid pleaded.

"Sorry my man, you need a little lovin," Morgan pulled out his phone and left his seat for the back of the plane where the coffee pot and some snacks resided.

Reid sat staring out of the window until his phone beeped. He looked down to see a text message from Garcia_. Why didn't u tell me about her? U R in big trouble. Here's her number_. He read a ten-digit phone number.

Morgan returned to his seat next to Reid. "You're in so much trouble with my baby girl." Morgan said, looking delighted.

"That's just great."

"Hey," Morgan held up his hands to ward off the angry younger man. "I'm not the one that didn't tell her."

"Can't I have any secrets?" Reid hissed at his friend.

Morgan sipped at the bottle of water he'd snagged at the back of the plane. He handed Reid a second bottle of water. "Drink it… You don't need coffee." He admonished when Reid gave him a look.

"Yes mother!"

"I'm going to get some sleep. You better have something to tell me on Monday." He warned Reid.

"What am I going to tell you?" Reid pretended innocence.

"You know what I mean. Call her." He ordered again.

"Yes sir!"

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The ringing of her phone cut through the haze of sleep that she fallen into just minutes ago. "Damn it," She yelled at the phone. It had taken her hours to get to this point in sleep. "Some of us have to get up early tomorrow." She said looking at the cell phone and the unknown number.

She ignored it, figuring that if she didn't know the person calling, she wasn't obligated to answer. It rang again after a few minutes. She snatched it up and said. "Hello…"

No one responded to her greeting. "This isn't funny. It's two in the morning, jerk."

She heard the click of the person hanging up. She put the phone back on her night table and turned over. The phone rang again just as she dropped off for the third time that night. She reached over and hit end. She turned off the phone and dropped it back on the night table. If the person called back, all they would get was her voice mail. If they wanted to talk to her so badly they'd have to leave a message. She turned over again and tried to forget the feeling that the person on the other end had scared her so badly her hands were shaking.

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He shut his phone and smiled. She was a feisty little thing under her exterior of supposed shyness. She would turn out to be just like all the others. He'd show her the whore that she was under her cloak of purity.


	4. Excuses

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Excuses_**

Kira ran her brush through her hair trying not to think about the message she got this morning as soon as she had turned on her phone. There had been more calls at night over the weekend, but so far no voice until now, on Monday morning. Her hands began to shake just thinking about it. She looked in the mirror at a face with dark circles and fear shadowing her eyes.

"I'm watching you." The message had said in a voice that she didn't recognize because the person had been whispering to her.

Who would want to watch her? The thought sent chills up her back. She should be safe from the crazies for the same reason Dr Reid didn't try to ask her out. She wasn't beautiful or thin as a rail. No man would fantasize about her so it all had to be a mistake.

_If it's a mistake, why does he know your name and telephone number? _

She finished brushing out the curls she'd put into her hair that day and adjusted her yellow tee shirt around her waist, which seemed to be staying the same size despite the new diet she'd started.

_It would work if you would stop sabotaging it with muffins from Starbucks._

She ignored the voice and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Two scrambled eggs, and two rashers of bacon later, she went to work washing her dishes. She had thirty minutes before she had to leave for her first class.

_You should use the time to call the cops._

She laughed aloud at the voice in her head. The police would laugh at her. They would know that no one would be interested in stalking her.

Thirty minutes later, she locked the door to her apartment and slung her messenger bag over her shoulder. If she didn't hurry, she'd be late for class.

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He lifted his hands from her throat. Her eyes, so pretty in life, were clouded with death, which he'd given to her. It was his gift to her and to himself, he thought as he stood up and grabbed his pants and shorts. In the end, she was like all the rest of them. She didn't give him the transcendence that the perfect one would give. It didn't matter because he'd finally found the one.

He lifted her from the surgical style table to his arms. She lay limp in his arms, but still warm as he carried her to the small bathroom off his workroom. He ran a bath and stripped her of all her torn clothing. When the water filled the tub, he wrestled her into the water and began to wash down her body. He'd never left any clues with the others and he didn't intend to leave evidence with this one. He pulled down the removable showerhead and turned on the water. He ran hot water over her face and hair until he was satisfied that nothing of him remained. He had already disposed of the condom he wore, nothing else needed to be done but to get rid of the body.

His phone rang an hour later after he'd left her body where he was sure it would soon be found. He spoke with the person on the other line promising he would be there within the hour. He hurried back to his vehicle and drove back into the city. It wouldn't do to be late.

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Reid tied his grey tie and added his black, white and grey diamond patterned shirt to his ensemble_. Why do you insist on dressing that way? _

_Shut up!_

_Is that all you can say Mr. Large Vocabulary?_

_Leave me alone! _

Reid grabbed his messenger bag, looking at his watch as he hurried down the hall to his living area. He was going to be late if he stopped at the coffee shop. She probably wouldn't be there anyway.

_If you can't call her and put us out of our misery, then stop whining. I don't see what the attraction is anyway. She's just a mousy little blond, who's scared of her own shadow._

_Stop talking about her like that. She's sweet and -_

_Oh, spare me the lovey dovey spew._

He decided to stop listening to Ian. He'd call Kira that night if they didn't have a case. He found that idea sent excitement into his belly. She was very pretty even if she didn't realize it. There was something in her eyes and her face that drew him in. He wanted to know what was behind the mystery in her eyes.

_Are you going to tell her all about you, and me?_

He ignored Ian's voice. It wasn't as if he was proposing marriage. He just wanted the chance to have a normal life.

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When he got to the coffee shop, Kira wasn't there. He just had time to get his usual cup of coffee, but not enough time to wait for her. She was probably avoiding him anyway. He'd just call her that night if they didn't have a case.

Morgan and Emily were already in the office when he got off the elevator. JJ was at his desk putting more files on top of the already teetering pile.

"Why are you putting more on my stack when Morgan doesn't have anything on his desk?" He demanded of her.

"Don't look at me. I was just making my rounds." She showed him the rest of the files in her arms.

"Stop putting your work on my desk." Reid thumbed quickly through his stack and separated out Morgan's from the one JJ left for him. "Do your own work." He ordered tossing them down on his former friend's desk. "I can remember all the names of the files. I don't recognize these."

"Geez… I was just kidding!"

"Stop treating me like you're still unit chief." Reid dumped his go bag, messenger bag next to his desk, and stalked away.

"Wow… What's gotten into him?" Emily said.

"I don't know, but I am going to find out." Morgan promised her.

"Why don't you just let him be the one to tell us on his own?" Emily said fingering the edge of her file folder. "That might be a nice change."

"Come on Prentiss, he's been acting weird for awhile now. Don't you want to know?"

"Leave him alone guys," JJ said. "We have a case right here in Virginia that needs us right away." She pointed to the conference room.

"Great!" Emily said. "Here we go again.

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"This is Gwen Ockley," JJ said, bring up a picture of a girl with dark blonde hair, green eyes and an oval shaped face. "She was a junior at UVA in Mathematics. She went missing a year ago. Hunters in Prince William Forest Park found her body six months ago. She'd been strangled, but the decomp was too far advanced to tell if there was sexual assault. The next victim Victoria Schaffer went missing three months after Gwen Ockley. She was found three months later, about a week after Gwen, fifteen miles south of Gwen, but still in the Prince William Forest Park. The third victim, Shelby Hanford disappeared six months ago. Her body was found a week before the last victim disappeared. The last girl, Marianna Bently, went missing three months ago. They were all students at UVA. They all share the same physical characteristics. The ME was able to determine that the last two victims were raped. All of them were strangled."

"He's keeping them for three months before he tortures them and kills them." Rossi observed over his blue FBI coffee mug.

"There're no signs of a struggle anywhere on their bodies, but there is high level of sedatives in their blood." JJ said.

"Did the drugs contribute to their deaths?" Hotch asked.

"No… The definite cause of death was strangulation. The first victim's hyoid bone was broken. The victims found in a less advanced state of decomposition had ligature marks on their throats and petichial hemorrhaging in the eyes."

"They all went to the same school, so he may have known them all." Emily said over her file to Hotch.

"I agree… Garcia, start with staff and then teachers and administrators. We'll look into students if we come up empty with the staff. Right now, with the evidence we have, I'm thinking this isn't a student because this man needs privacy and patience for what he's doing."

"I agree," Rossi replied to Hotch's assertions."

"No problem…" Garcia said keeping her eyes off the crime scene photos on the white board.

"We know he's white because of the victims." Hotch added.

"He has a very specific type," Morgan said thoughtfully. "None of these girls are extraordinary. They all look as though they would blend in -"

"Just because a girl doesn't have super model looks doesn't mean no one notices her." Reid said suddenly and very fiercely.

"Hey," Morgan said placating "I just meant that they don't stand out. That could be why he's targeting them, hoping that they won't fight back."

"I spoke with Detective Saunders. She agrees with you Morgan. She's spoken with the professors of the girls and they were all described as shy women who don't call attention to themselves. The ME reports that three of them were virgins before they were kidnapped."

"How does he know this about the victims?" Morgan asked. "Has he dated them, or do they know him well enough to confide their sexual status to him. That's a huge level of trust."

"Garcia," Hotch caught their tech's attention. She looked back at him through the ruby frames of her glasses, which matched her hair. "Put school counselors and any medical doctors that deal with students at the top of your list."

"You got it boss," she made the okay sign with her right hand.

"He could just be a great profiler." Morgan said.

"He could, but let's look into all possibilities." Hotch said. "Rossi, you and I will go to UVA and talk to the teachers of these girls. If they have roommates, let's talk to them as well. Emily, Morgan and Reid, get started on victimology. We need a list of possible victims that fit the profile. JJ, speak with the parents. Are any of the families here in Virginia?"

"Yes, the Ockely's and the Hanford's live right here in DC. Ruben Ockely works for Senator Black from Ohio. Desmond Hanford is a lawyer with one of the biggest law firms on the East Coast."

"Should be fun," Emily said, grinning up at her friend.

"I'll survive," she said, as she gathered up her files and a couple of pens.

"Hey Reid, is everything ok?" Morgan asked as others left the conference room. "You look like you're not sleeping."

"I'm fine… I'm just concerned about this case. You know he's probably already looking for his next victim." Reid snapped back.

"Hey, I just want to help you."

Emily and Morgan stared at their young friend as he refused to make eye contact with them. "I know," he finally said. "My problems are secondary to this case right now."

"They're not secondary if they're important to you." Emily said kindly.

Reid put down his file folder. His cheeks were pink as he looked up at them. "Okay… I told Morgan that I met someone a week ago."

"Well that's great." Emily said with a big smile. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Kira. She's really nice, sweet and pretty. The thing is that she looks almost exactly like the victims in this case. I don't know if I should call her and tell her to be careful. I don't want to scare her off or just be the FBI agent that's morbid about what could be happening to her."

"So I take it you haven't asked her out yet." Morgan said with a grin.

Reid began fidgeting with his coffee cup. "No… I haven't got around to it yet."

"If you have to get around to it, then there ain't nothin' there." Morgan informed him with a laugh.

"Leave him alone," Emily said.

"Why don't you ask her out for coffee and just work the conversation around to these disappearances."

"So you want me to interrogate her?" Reid asked in a very calm tone.

"No… That's not what he's saying," Emily tried to come to the rescue of her partner.

"It's what it sounded like to me," Reid said. "So, I'll just call her and set up a date, scare her away and come back to work with my heart in my hands. So basically, it'll be just like any other day." He said sarcastically. "Don't wait up mom and dad." He shot back as he left the room.

"That went very well." Emily said.

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He watched from his place in his car. She hadn't rushed off to the cops after his message, which was what he had expected. She wouldn't believe that she could be a target, just like all the others, which made her just ripe for the picking


	5. Suspicious

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Suspicious_**

Reid parked his ancient Volvo, slamming the gearshift into place hard. White-hot anger sent his heart racing into overdrive. He was so tired of the pitying looks from his team at all the stupid blunders he seemed to make on a daily… no, hourly basis. He wasn't a child anymore, he was a man who was supposed to be able to deal with his life and yet, here he was, alone like always. His mind was spiraling out of control once again. All the work he'd done since he had the first blackout looked like it was for nothing.

His car door opened before he could stop his hand on the handle. His legs and feet took him down the long and winding path around the park just blocks from his apartment. He didn't want to be out in the sunshine and blue sky. The day should be grey skies, and hard cold rain on his head. His eyes stayed on the concrete instead of watching the path he trod and anyone that might be in his way as he walked. Why couldn't his life be easy like Morgan, Emily, or even JJ? Rossi and Hotch had it easier too despite their losses. They didn't have a mother in an institution. Their father's hadn't left them alone to cope as an adult, when he just wanted to be a kid in a family that loved him.

His stomach churned, he coughed twice against the bile that wanted to leave his belly. Was it too much to ask for just one normal day, one normal relationship, or one normal moment? He even wished for one moment free of this enormous intellect so that he could feel what it was like to be like everyone else.

_Mom always said we're not like everyone else. She said we're special._

He flinched as Ian spoke up in his head.

_I don't want to be special._

_Let me have control and you won't have to be special. _

_I can't, I'll lose my job and we'll end up in an institution with mom. Is that what you want?_

_No, but you don't want to hurt anymore. You can be free of the pain._

_That didn't work with the Dilaudid and it won't work with you. _

_You can't make me go away. I've always been a part of you. _

Ian's voice began to fade like reception on a badly tuned radio as Reid made it around the perimeter of the park. He looked up to see his car sitting there in the bright sun like it was waiting for him to come to his senses.

He pulled out his phone and dialed the number imprinted in his head forever. "Hi Kira… Um this is Dr. Spencer Reid. I was hoping we could get together and talk."

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Kira rushed down the sidewalk that bordered the parking lot. Her heart pounded as if she'd just finished a ride on the roller coaster. Dr. Spencer Reid had just called her to meet for a cup of coffee. She couldn't believe it. A handsome, smart and sweet guy actually asked her out. Her feet nearly tripped into the bus instead of up the steps.

"Hi Kira," said Harvey who drove this bus route every afternoon. "You're out of class early today." He threw the door shut and pulled the bus out into the midday afternoon.

She could feel her face going red. "I have a date." Oh, God, why was she blurting it out to him, she cringed in embarrassment.

Harvey smiled up at her through the big mirror that gave him a view of the interior of the bus. Kira sat down in one of the side facing seats to the right of Harvey and didn't look at him again.

"I'm glad… You're much too young and pretty to be alone all the time."

"I'm nothing special." She insisted, keeping her eyes on the dirty bus floor.

"Now don't say that honey," he argued, his blue eyes twinkling under thinning and whitening hair. "I didn't find my Stella till I was nearly forty. She was in her thirties too. Sometimes it takes time and you're still very young."

"It's just a quick coffee because he has to go back to work."

Harvey pulled the bus over for very heavyset African American woman standing at the second bus stop from the university. "Hey Angie…. How are you?"

"I hate all this sunshine." The woman said as she took a seat near the middle of the bus. "It gets me down."

"You are a strange one." He laughed as Angie dug a battered novel out of her huge straw bag.

"I may be strange, but at least I'm interesting." She shot back making them all laugh.

"So…" Harvey said with an air of a man who'd found a very interesting puzzle. "Tell me about this mystery man of yours," he prodded Kira.

"He's an FBI agent," she said proudly.

"Are you sure honey?" Harvey sounded skeptical as he got the lumbering bus back onto the road. "Men lie all the time to young ladies."

She hadn't thought of that… Kira discovered. He had shown her his badge and she saw the gun he wore, but could he be lying to score points.

"I don't know Harvey… I guess I just believed him." Her face returned to staring at her lap and her bag. "You're going to meet him in a public place. Don't forget the girls that have been going missing around here."

Kira's head lifted from her examination of her messenger bag. "Yeah… Of course it's going to be a public place Harvey."

"You be careful… Stella expects you over for dinner someday soon." He said.

"I promise I'll be careful." She crossed her finger over her heart.

Harvey pulled off the road again to let a man sitting in the back of the bus off at his stop. "You better be or Stella will be really angry." He informed her.

She smiled back at him with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. She didn't have any problem talking to bus drivers in their fifties and total strangers in elevators, but when it came to guys her age; she just couldn't make her mouth open and talk.

_You did pretty well with Dr. Reid._

_That was luck!_

_No, it wasn't luck it was…_

She couldn't make her inner voice believe the good that happened because something bad always happened to override the good.

_He was right about the missing women. You have to be careful girl._

She forced the voice in her head to shut up even as doubts began to claw their way into her stomach, making her heartbeat heavy in her chest as though the blood had thickened to molasses. For a minute, she considered staying on the bus and leaving Dr. Reid to his coffee.

_Stop being such a whiny crybaby and take a chance for once!_

Another voice, the one that always told her she could do anything she wanted to, spoke up with vengeance forcing her to listen. She could chicken out or she could take a chance for once. The voice of common sense that she'd dubbed the voice of her cowardice tried to speak up, but she ignored it in favor of a pair of chocolate puppy dog eyes that dominated her daydreams.

Her bus stop came up a lot faster than she expected, she nearly didn't pull the signal but in the end, her hand reached up and tugged the line. The dinging of the signal sent her heart racing again. There was nothing else to do but get off the bus and find out if Dr. Reid was really, who he said he was.

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Reid took his coffee cup to the same table he occupied the day he'd met Kira. Only a few people sat around the dining area of the café with their attentions on laptops, cell phones, and even books. In fact, his hands itched to have a book in them so he could think about something other than making the biggest mistake in his life.

He looked down at the paper cup that held his favorite drink and tried not to feel the butterflies fluttering around in the pit of his stomach. He shouldn't be trying to engage in a relationship with his precarious control on Ian.

_Did it ever occur to you to get help? _

_NO!_

He made his eyes move up to the window so he could watch for Kira even though he didn't expect her for at least another ten minutes. A drumming sound on his little table caught his attention after five minutes of watching the people out on the street. He looked down to realize that his fingers were making the noise. He forced his fingers to stop while looking around to see if anyone else had heard the staccato rhythm on the hard surface. No one looked directly at him, which was a huge relief.

A glimpse of red passing by his peripheral vision made him turn his head to see a brand new Mustang pull up into the parking lot of the café.

"_Now that's a car,"_ Ian spoke up in his head. _"Why can't we have one of those?_"

"I can't afford that," Reid said aloud catching the attention of a woman half his height and twice his age with grey eyes staring at him.

"Hi," he stammered giving her a little wave. She shook her head after giving him a look that clearly said how nuts she thought he might be.

"Sorry," he said.

She went back to her book.

"_Why are you apologizing to her? People should mind their own business. Stop being such a wet noodle."_

"_Shut up,"_ Reid said in his head that time.

"_No… I'm tired of you acting like such a shy frightened little bird." _

"_Please just go away so I can have a cup of coffee with a nice girl." _

"_And pick her brain to see if she knows who the killer is,"_ Ian said sarcastically.

"_I'm not listening to you anymore."_ Reid pulled his own book out of his messenger bag. If he read, he could put all his concentration away from Ian. It had worked in the past. He took another sip of his rapidly cooling coffee and set to work on the book. Ian's voice faded down into his head, but he wouldn't be gone for long. It was getting more and more difficult to keep him under control.

He made it through to the middle of his book when footsteps he recognized even after hearing them just one time approached the table. Kira stood there looking down at him with a strange look on her face. "I'm not so sure I should be here Dr. Reid." She said. "Are you sure I can trust you?"


	6. Trust

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Trust_**

"I don't understand…" Reid said, cursing the squeak, and tone of order, in his voice. "I'm sorry Kira, please won't you sit down. I really need to talk to you."

She hesitated long enough that his heart began to hammer. It pounded against his ribs so hard he felt light headed. The wonderful smells of coffee and chocolate retreated into the background as he tried to remember how to take oxygen into his lungs.

"Hey," she pulled out the chair across from him and sat down quickly. "Are you alright?"

_Let me talk to her._

_No… Not here, not right now. Please don't mess this up for me!_

Her right hand reached out as if to touch his fingers. His eyes focused on a ring she wore on the first finger of that hand. It was a channel ring set with what he thought were several round diamonds. For some reason it buried Ian's voice back into the place he lived without effort from Reid's mind.

"Dr Reid," she said very tentatively.

He locked his gaze to her gentle hazel eyes while pushing Ian back into that part of his mind he didn't like to acknowledge.

"I'm sorry, I frightened you. We have this new case and I'm a little distracted."

She sipped at the coffee she'd brought to the table, keeping her eyes off his face and on the rim of the paper cup. "Are you sure you're okay. You look… um, I'm sorry, it's none of my business." She went scarlet and her fingers shook so that the coffee sloshed dangerously close to the top of the cup.

"I am fine," he promised as the butterflies in his stomach began swarming under her suspicious stare. "I guess I'm a little confused." He asked bluntly.

Her eyes softened a bit as he stared at her. There was something different about her that day and he couldn't put his finger on it. It was more than her sudden distrust of him.

"I'm sorry, I rode the bus here because I don't have a car. I never learned how to drive. My father… Well, anyway, the bus driver is a friend. You know how you sort of make acquaintances with the guy at the coffee shop," she laughed. "Or the lady at the dry cleaners because you see them on a regular basis. The driver on my route is a nice guy in his sixties. He and his wife have me over for dinner every once in awhile and when I told him how we met…" She trailed off as her face went scarlet again.

"He told you that I could be lying to you about my job just to pick you up." Reid guessed as relief made his head light again.

He took a sip from his cup, resisting the urge to spit the lukewarm coffee back into the cup.

"Yeah… He's concerned because of the killings on campus."

Reid took a deep breath flinching back from her as though avoiding a blow. "I wanted to talk to you about that too. We've been asked to work the case. We had a briefing today and I realized that you look like all the victims and you fit the profile too so -

She'd been stirring her coffee with a little red swizzle stick. Her hand stopped so suddenly it was as though it had encountered an invisible wall. "Oh!" She said so loudly, that a very large woman with grey hair in a bun on the top of her head, wearing a canary yellow tee shirt with the words, "Age and cunning will always beat youth and beauty," across the front, looked up and glared at both of them. "Some of us are trying to read if you don't mind." The angry woman hissed.

"Sorry," Kira said apologetically, blushing furiously over the rim of her coffee cup.

"Can't even enjoy a cup of coffee anymore," the woman muttered.

"So you called me because you think I can help with your case." Kira said.

"Yes… I mean no, I mean I told a couple of my teammates about you. They wanted me to bring you into Quantico, but I said I wanted to talk to you alone. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." He said.

"Cool… I mean, I've never helped with an FBI investigation before," She said interestedly, hoping she'd successfully covered her disappointment at the reason for his invitation. "What do I have to do?"

"Well, my team and I just received the case. I was worried because you look like all the other victims. I was wondering if you knew any of the girls, or if you might hang out at the same places. Have you noticed anyone following you, maybe the same kind of vehicle." He asked very quickly.

She was looking down at her cup and stirring with the swizzle stick again so he couldn't see her eyes as she spoke. The ring on her finger glinted in the sunlight that entered the tinted windows to their left and for some reason he couldn't take his eye off it as though it were some kind of talisman against trouble.

"I didn't know any of those girls." Kira said, keeping her eyes on the table. "I don't know why you'd think this guy or whoever he is, would be interested in me."

"Well… He has a very specific type. Most serial killers look for substitutes when they kill. He probably had or has an abusive female figure in his life. He's killing that woman over and over again, punishing her for hurting him."

He looked up to see Kira and a man at the next table staring at him as though he'd just spat into the coffee and tried to give it to a baby. "Oh, I'm sorry Kira I don't think before I speak very often. I'm not used to talking to women outside of work."

He could see in her face that she didn't believe him. The businessman at the next table smirked at him when Reid looked over at him.

"I have to get back to work before they panic and send the locals after me." He tried to laugh.

Her eyebrows went up into her bangs. "Do they send 'the locals," she said, making quotes with her fingers, "after you all the time?"

"I have a talent for getting into trouble," He sighed.

His cup of cold coffee went into the trash as they left the café and the staring eyes of the businessman and the cranky woman. Kira carried her cup with her ducking under his arm when he held open the door for her. "Would you let me drive you home at least?"

"I - um I guess that would be okay." She walked next to him but at a distance.

"My car's right over there," he pointed to his ancient Volvo. "I know it doesn't look like much, but it gets me around." He assured her.

"At least you have a car." She sighed.

He unlocked the passenger side door and opened it for her to climb inside. His heart began beating very hard as he walked around the front of the car to the driver's side. It felt like her eyes were watching him while he moved around the car. His fleeting glance into the car was obstructed by the angle of the sun on the windshield making it impossible to see inside. She could be making faces at him, flipping him the bird or ignoring him for all he knew.

_Nice… Why can't you just talk to the woman instead of hauling her back to her place. Invite her back to your place instead. _

_Shut up and leave me alone Ian._

The deep breath he inhaled into his lungs before opening the door didn't make his heartbeat slow, but at least Ian had gone back into his head again.

She didn't talk to him until they were back on the road. "I don't think your car is so bad." She said abruptly as though she'd been looking for material for a conversation and this was the best she could do.

"Actually, it's pretty reliable for its age. It used to be my mom's car and I can't bring myself to let it go."

He sneaked a glance over at her, but she was looking out the window. "I get that," she said after a long moment of silence. "My mom and dad were killed in a plane crash two years ago."

His heart sank at her words and his hands tightened on the steering wheel. At least he still had his mother and his father was alive. "I'm sorry," He said feeling that it was a very inadequate sentiment.

"I still miss them very much… She pointed to the ring on her finger. "This was my mother's anniversary ring. She left it to me in her will."

"Do you have any siblings?" He asked.

"No, I was an only child. I don't have any other family. My father owned a few car dealerships in Dayton Ohio. He wanted me to take over the business, but I'm too shy to own or manage anything. I sold everything and decided to come out here to school. Pretty ironic huh, my dad owned car dealerships and I never learned how to drive."

"You don't seem shy to me." Reid blurted out, feeling his face go hot. "I'm sorry… Studying human behavior is my job, but sometimes I can't seem to shut if off."

He risked another glance at her. She was playing with her ring, twisting it around her finger and pulling it off and putting it on over and over again.

"It's okay," she looked up at him and he escaped her searching glance by looking at the road. "I'm an introvert they tell me. I don't have too much trouble striking up conversations, like small talk in the elevator or in the line at the grocery store, but when it comes to talking to groups of people or making new friends, I just can't seem to do it very well."

"I'm not good at social situations either," he said. "I hate it when the FBI makes me go on a recruiting session to UVA. I end up making bad jokes about philosophy or just stumbling over my words. I don't know why they keep sending me back."

"I think you're really smart and nice." She said softly.

He looked over to see her face scarlet again and she was looking at the floor instead of at his face. His heart rate began spiking again at the sight of the curve of her cheek and the drape of her hair.

"Thank you," he answered. "I've always wondered why it's easier to believe the bad things people say than the good.

"Me too," she agreed earnestly.

"So what are you studying at school?" He asked.

"Creative writing," she responded.

He glanced over at her tone to see that she was studying him with defensive eyes. "I'm not going to laugh at you. I think it's great."

"My mother never wanted me to be a writer. She said that I'd never make any money. I guess I am luckier than most. I have enough money to allow me to never have to work, but that's not why I want to write."

"You should do what you love." He said.

"Thanks…"

He couldn't think of anything to say as they headed north. She directed him to the turnoff to her apartment building fifteen minutes later. He parked in the visitors parking and ran around the car to open the door. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome. If you think of anything, call me." He gave her one of his cards.

"Okay… I'll see you later."

"Yeah… Um, sure… I'll call you later."

He walked her up to the door to the lobby and held open the door for her. "Um, have a good afternoon."

"Thanks, you too. I hope you catch the killer." She said.

"Right, we'll do out best."

He hurried back to the car missing her staring after him. His phone rang insistently as he got into the car. It was Hotch's number on his caller ID and he sighed. "Hello," he said hoping his boss wouldn't hear the guilt in his voice.

"Morgan said you ran out." Hotch said without a greeting.

"Yeah… I went to talk to a girl I met the other day in the coffee shop."

The silence on the other end of the phone made his hands start to shake. "She looks like the victims and fits the profile. I wanted to make sure she was okay."

"You should've told me you were leaving Reid."

"I know that Hotch, I'm sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I want a full report," Hotch ordered. "As soon as you get back."

"Yes sir, I'll be there in half an hour."

He shut his phone and got into his car. He shouldn't have let Emily and Morgan get to him like that. He should've stood up to them. He sighed and started his car. He'd have to endure the looks of disapproval and curiosity from the others. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.


	7. Confide

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Confide_**

_Reid made it back to his desk just in time for Hotch and Rossi to enter the bullpen. They continued through to the conference room. Hotch only had to look over at Reid to have him jumping up from his desk to follow them._

The only chair in the room that was empty when he entered was next to Emily. He took it, keeping his eyes on Hotch and Rossi rather than on his teammate. So he didn't notice that Emily and Morgan were regarding him like a bomb about to go off at any moment.

"Rossi and I just returned from speaking with the families of the victims." Hotch began.

"We were able to find what might be the connection between them, other than their physical characteristics." Rossi added.

Reid turned his entire attention to his superiors hoping that they had found the key to the case so that he could ask Kira out for real instead of using her to get something. She deserved better than that. Her hazel eyes had something in their depths that called out to him. He'd never seen the kind of longing in someone else that he felt in his own heart.

"We discovered that all the victims were either only children or raised by someone other than their parents." Rossi was saying. "Gwen Ockley, the first victim, was an only child. She was born and raised in Virginia. Her parents live in Mclean.

"We had to speak to Victoria Schaffer's grandparents on the phone. Her mother was a junkie in New York City. Her father isn't known and her mother died of a heroin overdose when she was ten. Her grandparents became her guardians at that point." Hotch took up the narrative. "Shelby Hanford's parents live here in DC. She didn't have any siblings. Marianna Bently was an orphan who grew up in an orphanage in South Carolina."

"So what does that mean?" Emily asked. "Is the un-sub targeting them because they don't have much in the way of family, or is he lacking in family too?"

"We won't know that until we find him." Morgan said. "Right now it's the only lead we have."

"Garcia," Hotch directed his next request to their tech.

"Yes sir," she pushed her dark red framed glasses up on her nose.

"I want you to look into like crimes. All of these women share another trait. They all lived on the east coast at sometime in their lives and three were born in this area. We need to find out if there have been other missing persons or sexual crimes against women that may have survived an encounter with this man."

"Yes sir," she repeated. "I looked into the medical connection, but I couldn't find anything. All of the women used different doctors. As you know I can't access medical records because of HIPPA rules."

"Keep looking anyway… There might be something to it." Hotch ordered here. "Do what you can."

"As you wish my lige," she winked at him and left the room for her beloved computers.

"Reid," Hotch addressed the younger man. "What did you find out about Ms Reynolds?"

Reid looked around at the rest of the team. JJ and Emily were eyeing him with undisguised interest. Morgan's eyes were twinkling with mischief. Rossi was the only one that looked a little bored. "Who's Ms Reynolds?" He asked Reid.

"She's a student at UVA that picked him up in a coffee bar." Morgan said.

"She didn't pick me up." Reid said indignantly. "She's not like that at all."

"Not like what?" Rossi asked curiously, his mouth twitching against a smile at the mortified young doctor.

"I just mean that she's shy and pretty and really nice." Reid huffed going very red in the face.

"Alright, everyone leave him alone. We have a killer to catch." Hotch reminded the others.

"We're sorry Spence," JJ said in a tone that said she wasn't that sorry at all.

He glared at her and she smiled. "She said she hasn't experienced anything out of the ordinary." Reid said desperately. If they'd get their heads back on the case.

"Did you ask her about anything out of the ordinary?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah… I don't think she's a target Hotch." Reid said, hoping he could just ask her out instead of using her to find a killer.

Hotch simply stared at him. "Okay… If she hasn't had any problems then we should move on to other possible victims. I want you to work with Garcia on that." He instructed Reid.

Reid let his breath out slowly. "I'll get right on it." He jumped out of his chair and hurried out of the room.

He decided that he would call her that night after work and see if she wanted to go to dinner or maybe a movie. He could handle that, right.

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Kira stared out the window as she waited for Dr Mount joy. The pale-green leaves on the trees against the light blue sky and white fluffy clouds mocked her. She should've called the doctor's secretary and cancelled this appointment. The last thing she wanted to do was bare her soul to a shrink.

"Kira…"

She turned to see Dr. Mount joy's nurse smiling at her. "He's ready for you."

Kira followed the very tall, red haired nurse to the last room on the left. Dr. Mount joy sat in his usual place, in a large mahogany colored leather chair behind an even larger oak desk. He smiled at her from behind rimless glasses. His ice blue eyes were kinder than they looked.

"Hello Kira. How are you today?"

She took the smaller leather chair across from his desk. "I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows but he didn't contradict her. "How's your writing?"

"I'm having writer's block."

He sat back in his chair, leaving his pen on top of his yellow legal pad. "Why do you think you're having trouble?"

"I don't know." She said softly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"Do you remember what we talked about last time?" He asked her as she stared at the light rose-colored carpet.

"Yes…"

"You promised you would be honest with me. It's the only way you'll get past your writer's block and your parents' deaths."

"Yes sir."

She thought for a long time. He didn't speak as the shadows from the trees shifted position in the office from the uncovered windows.

"I met a man." She blurted out feeling her face go red.

"You don't sound happy," he observed picking up his pen again.

"I am… I just, well I don't think he likes me." She admitted, unable to meet the eyes of the doctor she'd been seeing for the last five months.

"Why do you assume he doesn't like you?" Dr. Mount joy asked.

She reached out for the small crystal swan on the left side of his desk. He never said she couldn't touch anything on his desk so she often fingered it nervously. "He's an FBI agent… He called me and asked me out for coffee."

"That's a good thing. You need practice in social situations." The doctor said, as he studied her with his ice blue eyes.

"He wanted my help with a case. He didn't ask me there because he likes me. He said that I might be in danger from the killer that's taking all these girls from school."

"I've read about it, and you do resemble them." Dr. Mount joy said.

She turned the crystal swan over in her hands admiring the way the sunlight from the windows sparkled on all its beveled surfaces. It was lovely and perfect, not bland and dull like her.

"I'm fine," she finally said, ignoring the urge to tell him about the call she'd received and the message. It didn't matter anyway. It was just a crank call.

"Still, I think you should be careful. Are you sure this man is who he says he is."

"I looked him up on Google and found all these articles he's written, and stuff from when he was hired by the bureau."

Dr. Mount joy only raised his eyebrows behind his glasses. "Then I think you're safe enough for now. You should help him if he asks for it. It's a way in for you." He reminded her. "Remember what you promised in our last session?"

"I know… I promised I would try to talk to men. I did that," she reminded him. "I made the first move in the coffee house." The note of pride in her voice surprised her.

"How did it make you feel?" He asked continuing with his notes.

She hadn't really thought about that part of the encounter, only the outcome. "I - um I really didn't think about it. I guess it was a good feeling." She put the swan back on his desk and met his eyes for the first time in the session. "I really liked it."

"Good… Then I suggest you go with it and spend time with this young man. You need to get out there and have some fun. Your mother and father would want that for you."

"I know… It's just really hard." She lowered her eyes to the floor again and studied her dirty white sneakers.

"It's the things that are difficult that give us the most satisfaction." He said.

She suddenly wanted to roll her eyes at the doctor. He sounded like a Hallmark card to her. "I'll try," she said again, hoping that he would move on.

"Our time's up Kira. Make an appointment for next week."

"Yes sir." She escaped, feeling relief that it was finally over for another week.

000000000

He watched her waiting for the bus across the street. She sat at the very edge of the bench, ignoring the grey haired older woman with a cane, who sat in the middle of the bench reading a book. The old woman didn't have any interest in talking either, which intrigued him. No one seemed to engage in the social niceties anymore. Still it was good for him because he could focus on her without the old woman in the way.

He unzipped his pants and reached into his boxers. He held some of the torn and bloodied blouse from his last victim in his hand. He used it to stroke himself as he watched her through his car window with binoculars. She had the rare gift of not knowing she was beautiful and it made her that much more arousing.

He had just enough time to reach climax before the bus took her away from him. He used the torn shirt to clean up. He shoved it into his glove box and zipped up his pants. Kira Reynolds would soon be his forever, just like the others.


	8. Decide

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Decide_**

_Kira dropped her bag on the floor next to her bed. Her phone burned in her pocket urging her to take it out and see if Spencer had called her._

_He won't call you unless he wants you to help him with the case. _

She pulled the phone out of her jeans pocket and flipped it open. There was only one missed call and it was an unknown number. She shivered wondering if it was the person that left the whispering message for her that morning.

She looked around her bedroom as though it might hold the answers but all she saw were the empty white painted walls, her queen-sized bed with its dark blue comforter and her night tables. The matching rug at the foot of the bed didn't tell her anything and neither did her closet. She sighed and tried to concentrate on Spencer instead of something that was probably a fluke. More than likely, the hang-ups were just someone playing on the phone. The voice had to be for someone else.

_You should tell Spencer so he can find out if someone else is in danger. _

No, she wasn't going to call him. He was the one that only wanted her help. If he wanted to talk to her, he would have to call her first.

She went to the refrigerator for some water. Leftover potato salad called out to her from it's container on the second shelf. Food was her friend. It never let her down when she needed it. She could always count on it being there for her no matter what. People weren't like that in her experience. Her parents had died and left her alone. All of her friends from high school were married and having kids or off in some other school. No one even bothered to call her or email her.

_It's not like you've rushed to keep in touch with them. It's not all up to them._

She decided to ignore the voice before it poured more guilt into her overtaxed mind. She pulled the potato salad from the fridge and pulled open the top. The salad went with her to her computer and the assignment for her class.

She forgot to turn on her phone and missed the next two calls that came through as she tried to get back to her creative writing assignment.

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"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you sweet cheeks?" Garcia asked Reid for the second time since he'd dashed into her office.

"No, I have to concentrate," he snapped irritably.

His flamboyant friend frowned around her red framed glasses. She pursed her scarlet lips and said. "I just want to help you."

He sat back looking very deflated in a white dress shirt and dark blue vest with silver thread running through it. Even his short wavy hair seemed wilted as he fidgeted in his seat.

"I think I made Kira mad at me." He finally said.

Garcia's red hair seemed to bristle indignantly from its perch a top her head. "I highly doubt that. No one gets mad at you, you're too handsome and sweet."

"Hotch manages to get quite mad at me sometimes." Reid contradicted her as her fingers went back to their place on her key board.

"I think he has to. He's the boss." She reminded him.

He finally looked up from the floor. "That's true."

"Then call her and ask her out."

"I already did that," He stood up and began to pace the small room. "She thinks I just want her to help me with the case."

"We're not getting anywhere with that," Garcia looked up from her computer. "We've been into every facet of their lives and nothing stands out."

"I'll go tell Hotch what we've discovered." He walked to the door like a man headed for his last meal.

"Hey Reid," she called out turning from her computer.

"What?"

"Call Kira, I have a feeling she won't be angry with you anymore if you convince her you like her for herself and not for what she brings to the case."

He turned, looking completely baffled by Garcia's instruction. "How do I do that?" He squeaked.

Her smile widened lighting up the room with its wattage. "You don't have to do anything sweet cheeks. Just your presence should do the trick."

"Garcia," He whined exasperatedly. "I really don't know what to do."

"Just talk to her and make sure she knows you like her, not just for what she can do for the case."

"Okay…" He didn't look very confident.

"Just look at her with those eyes of yours and she'll melt down into mush." His friend assured him.

"That's not funny," he said, but he did seem a bit more hopeful.

"Oh yes it is," Garcia disagreed, "infinitely," she laughed.

"Please don't laugh at me with JJ and Emily." He pleaded with her.

"There…" She pointed at him with fingers that ended in red painted nails that matched her lipstick and the red blouse she wore. "Do that when you're with Kira and she won't know what hit her."

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Reid knocked on Hotch's door. "Come in," He called out.

"Hotch," Reid entered the room and took a chair in front of his desk. "Garcia and I went through all the victims' lives. We couldn't find any links except for one between Marianna Bently and Shelby Hanford. They were both majoring in English. It looks like they both wanted to be teachers when they graduated."

Hotch sat back in his chair with a thoughtful look on his face. "None of the others took classes at the same time."

"No… Not this year," Reid said. "But maybe if we look back into last year." He added; hope flaring up in his eyes.

"Have Garcia get on that," Hotch said. "What about like crimes in the area?"

"Garcia's still working on it. We found numerous sexual assaults involving women the same age, but so far not the same physical type."

"This isn't his first time. Let's widen the search through VICAP to the rest of the country. Perhaps he's refined his signature, but made some mistakes in the past."

"Yes sir," he hurried from the room as Hotch picked up the phone.

They needed to see the medical records of these women. He'd call in a favor to make that happen.

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Reid hurried around the corner from the men's room and looked around. He couldn't concentrate on his job until he called Kira to apologize for the way he treated her. The good thing was that he couldn't forget her phone number. The bad news was that he couldn't forget her telephone number. He sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

His finger trembled as he dialed the number. Now he wished that he'd just programmed it into his phone. Then he wouldn't have to start over as he would now because he'd just messed up the number with two wrong digits. When he finally managed to make his finger dial the right number, he was sweating lightly. The phone rang until it went to her voicemail.

"Hi… you reached Kira. You know what to do after the beep. Have a great day!"

He smiled at her happy tone. Then his heart began to thump in his chest. What could he say in a message that would get her to call him back?

"Um… Hi Kira. It's Dr. Reid. Um, I mean Spencer… I wanted to talk to you and… well um would you call me back. I hope we can see each other again because I like you. Um here's my number." He rattled off his number and shut his phone.

_That was very smooth._

_Shut up Ian!_

"_You should have let me talk to her. _

_No…_

_I'm going to find a way past your guard Spencer. You can count on that._

Ian finally went silent in his head. He hurried back down to the bullpen hoping that no one noticed his absence.

_You have the right to go to the bathroom you know._

He ignored Ian who'd spoke up again. Emily was working quietly at her desk when he sat down and pulled his copy of the case file forward.

"Hey Reid," Emily said.

He looked up to see her smiling at him. "I'm sorry if we teased you." She said.

"It's okay." He put his head down hoping that she wouldn't see the disappointment in his eyes at not contacting Kira on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked.

He put down his file folder. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to see if I can do anything with the geographic profile."

He left his desk and her eyes for the white board in the conference room. If he could get his mind on that portion of the case, then they could get this killer and he could spend time with Kira without worrying that he wasn't doing his job.

Unfortunately, hiding wasn't going to be an option. JJ grabbed him at the top of the stairs. "They found another victim three miles from where those hunters found Gwen Ockley."

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Kira left the steam of her shower behind in the bathroom. Snacking and trying to work on her class assignment hadn't pushed away the thoughts of Dr. Spencer Reid from her head.

_Stop thinking about him. He only wants what you can do for him for the case. _

Tears collected in the corners of her eyes. She should have told him off in the coffee shop. Just because every other guy in her life just treated her like a friend, didn't mean she had to take if from Supervisory Special Agent Reid.

She picked up her phone from the night table after drying off and putting on a clean pair of jeans and a dark blue tee shirt. She'd forgotten to turn it on and charge it again.

_You don't have anyone that wants to talk to you anyway. _

Tears ran down over her cheeks. She was so tired of being alone. Shouldn't she take any attention from Spencer she could get so that she didn't have to be alone anymore?

_Have some self-respect._

She turned on the phone and it played the little ring tone she'd assigned for messages. Suddenly her heart began to race. What if it was the man whispering to her on the phone? She hesitated for a long time.

_It won't help you to ignore it. What if it's Spencer calling you. _

She pushed the button for messages and entered her code. The first message was Spencer. Her heart went into her throat. He sounded really upset and he actually apologized to her. Guilt made her stomach feel like she'd eaten too much chocolate. She had to call him and tell him about the person that whispered on the phone.

She waited for the next message to play. It was one of her history classmates asking if she wanted to come to their study group that night. She should go, but she didn't like to go to those kinds of gatherings. Someone would make her the center of attention and she just couldn't deal with that. She decided to call Spencer instead and confide in him about the whisper on the line. He'd tell her she was over reacting and she'd feel better.


	9. Death

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Death_**

Everything was green, Reid thought as they drove into the woods, except for the blue sky overhead and the brown dirt road. The SUV bounced a little as it traversed the unpaved road. Still, the ride was much smoother with Rossi at the wheel then it would've been with Morgan.

Rossi followed one last curve in the road, passing between two huge fir trees. In front of them were four different police cruisers from the VPD and the coroner's wagon. Rossi parked the car behind the wagon, the wheels crunching over small fallen tree branches and yellow green grass at the edge of the road.

Reid couldn't help taking in a deep breath, as the air was full of the smell of earth, moss and pine. Luckily, the smell of musty leaves wasn't overpowering which relived him. He didn't know if he could handle a dead body and that smell.

_For once, you and I agree on something_. Ian said in his head.

Reid didn't respond and Ian went silent again. He passed JJ and Emily who'd exited the other side of the SUV. Morgan and Hotch pulled up in another SUV with the lead detective on the case. They all met at the other side off yellow crime scene tape.

"Why the woods?" Rossi asked aloud.

"He knows the area. He's from here or spends a lot of time here." Detective Grace Saunders observed. "This is a heavily used road by hunters and campers. There are dozens of trails that branch off from here. There's a campground not five miles from here.

She led the way to a path Reid could barely make out from the main road. She wore sturdy boots with her faded jeans, long sleeved tee shirt and leather jacket. He wished he had boots to deal with the mud left behind from the last rainy day two days ago. It sucked at his shoes like it wanted to pull them off his feet. He heard Emily cursing quietly under her breath behind him and was grateful that he was a guy and didn't wear heels.

"Fortunately, a couple of hunters found her on the path before the critters got started on her. She's only been out here for a few hours."

She topped a small rise in the trail and stopped. Reid followed Rossi and Hotch up behind here to where they body of a young woman lay in the mud. The ME and two CSIs worked the scene and the body. Reid pulled on a pair of gloves with the rest and tried to tread carefully around the body.

"She hasn't attracted too many insects yet and she doesn't reek of decomposition yet which means she's been dead and in a cold environment for a couple of days." The ME said by way of greeting.

His sober brown eyes held disgust and irritation under his heavy bangs of mahogany colored hair. His narrow face reminded Reid of a tombstone. The thought nearly made him smile at the irony of an ME looking like a headstone.

He trained his eyes back on the corpse. She was nude, with large bruises covering most of her bare skin. "Those bruises look like some are healing and some are new." He pointed out with a gloved finger.

"Signs of prolonged torture," Rossi said.

"Yeah… just like the other," The ME said with a sigh. "I hope you guys catch this bastard. I'm tired of pretty young girls on my table."

"We're working on it." Rossi said.

"She was strangled with his bare hands." The ME continued.

"Just like the others," Morgan said. "That takes a lot of strength.

"He likes to feel the life leave their bodies," Reid said.

"Yes…" Hotch agreed. "He gets off on their deaths."

"All of them were raped," Detective Saunders said.

The woman lay on her back, her legs spread and her arms over her head. "There's bruising on her thighs." The ME said. "I'll know for sure if she was raped when I get her back to the morgue."

"I'll be in touch Dr. Neely." Detective Saunders said while the ME supervised the removal of the body.

The CSIs who'd been silent during the exchange moved in to take samples of the mud and some of the plant and insects under the body. They reminded Reid of a set of fraternal twins he'd known in school. A man and a woman with white blond hair, blue eyes and skinny as rails. They were silent as ghosts and seemed to know each other's thoughts as they worked as a perfectly matched pair.

"What's with the twins?" Morgan said out of the corner of his mouth while he followed Reid away from the drop sight to the vehicles.

"Morgan…" Reid said exasperatedly. "I'm sure they're perfectly competent." A branch slapped him lightly across the face as they passed a birch tree and a couple of pine trees. "Watch where you're walking." He complained to his friend.

"Sorry, I'm irritated because I can't get a handle on this guy. We don't have anything that ties these women together except for their physical looks. He has all the signs of a sexual sadist with the torture and rape. There's no remorse in dumping the bodies where they're exposed to the animals and the elements. Yet he wants them to be found"

"Yeah… I noticed it too." Emily said from behind Reid.

"This new victim looks like the other four." Rossi observed from the end of the line.

_She looks like Kira_, Ian said

_I know… Shut up!_

_You sound awfully worried lover boy._

_Please just go away…_

"We have to identify her and then maybe we'll find a connection." Hotch said as they finally emerged from the trees and the muddy path.

"Next time we need to hike through the woods, someone warn me." Emily attempted to stamp the thick dark brown mud from her high-heeled boots. They all had it on there shoes and the cuffs of their pants.

"We'll put out a serial killers guide to Virginia," Morgan kidded her, "And tell them not to dump bodies in the mud without your permission."

"That's funny Morgan."

Reid's phone rang just as he reached for the door to the SUV. He looked at the caller ID and felt his face get hot. He hurried around to the back of the truck and answered the phone. "Hello…" He stammered.

"_Hi Spencer," _Kira's voice sent his heart soaring into the tall trees standing along the road.

"Hi, um, thanks for calling me back." He squeaked.

"_I wanted to talk to you. Something happened and you said I should tell you." _

His heart sank back down into his shoes. She wasn't calling him because she liked him but because of the case.

_It's your fault Slick._

_For the last time shut up and leave me alone._

"_Spencer?"_

"Sorry, um so what happened? You sound scared."

"_I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this." _She said, sounding like she thought he'd yell at her.

"It's okay Kira. Just tell me what happened to you."

"_I've been getting these calls." _

"What kind of calls?" He stood up straighter his muscles tightening with stress.

"_Well, they happen at night and they're hang ups like someone calling a wrong number." _

He looked up at the blue sky because looking at the trees reminded him that they'd just left a dead body. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing Kira like that.

_There's a morbid thought and you complain about me._

He ignored Ian's voice and said. "What aren't you telling me Kira?" She was so silent for so long he thought she'd hung up the phone. "Kira?"

"_He left a message on my phone the other day. He said he was watching me." _

His heart thudded back into life. The trees seemed to lean in on him like a green wall. "I want you to meet us the police barracks in Arlington." He ordered. "We need to talk to you about this."

"_It's probably nothing… Right?" _

Her tone pleaded with him to tell that her fears were unfounded but he couldn't do it. He'd seen too much in his career to be less then cautious.

"It's possible," He finally said. "I'd like for you to talk to the team anyway just in case."

"_Okay…" _She agreed and something in her tone gave his heart a lift again.

"I'll see you there in two hours."

"Hey Reid," Morgan walked around the car as he put his phone in his pocket. "What are you doing kid?"

"That was Kira…"

"My man," Morgan clapped him on his shoulder. "Did you finally make your move?"

"No I didn't make my move. She called me because she's been getting odd calls."

Morgan led him around to the car door. "What kind of calls?"

Reid explained to the team and Detective Saunders what Kira had told him.

"What's she had to do with all this?" The detective asked.

"She fit's the victim profile, at least the physical parameters." Hotch said. "Reid knows more about her then we do. I think we should talk to her."

"I'm fine with any kind of lead we can get." Saunders agreed.

* * *

He turned on the garden hose he'd hooked up to the deep aluminum sink. The hot water mixed with the blood on the autopsy table and it ran with a splatter over the sides to the white washed floor. The now pink water slid down the floor to the drain in the middle with a gurgle. He only turned off the scalding water when the table and the floor were in pristine condition. He wiped off the table with an old rag and left the floor to dry on it's own until he was ready for his next guest.

By now, the cops should have found his last guest. He'd been very careful with her just like the last four. They wouldn't have anything to go on just like them. He'd made sure not to leave anything of himself on her.

He smiled as he turned off the basement lights and hurried upstairs to his study. For now, the simple pleasures of a glass of excellent Scotch and a little day dreaming about his fascinating hobby would have to tie him over until he could add Kira Reynolds to his collection. She would be the sweetest of them all because he would take her right out from under the noses of the mighty BAU and Dr. Spencer Reid.


	10. Inferior

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Inferior_**

The taxi driver smirked at Kira in the rearview mirror as he pulled into the police station. "Visiting someone?" He asked.

She glanced out of the window at the low grey brick building instead of the driver. "No…"

"That'll be twenty-two even," He said as she just stared at the building.

"Oh right," she pulled a couple of bills out of her pocket and handed them to the driver who wasn't smirking anymore. "Thank you," she said more out of habit than any real gratitude.

"Sure thing, my name's Ricky. If you need a ride home later, just ask for me." Now he leered at her through dark brown eyes.

"Yeah…" She left the cab and stood staring at the door to the building.

She noticed three police cruisers parked in front of the building. A pair of cops was moving a handcuffed woman from the backseat. "Get your f-ing hands off me." The woman shouted. "You f-ing bitch," She turned her wrath on the female officer.

"Aw… Now you really hurt my feelings Red." She pulled the woman with a flaming red wig past Kira.

"What are you lookin' at?" Red glared at Kira.

"Sorry," she mumbled stumbling back out of the way.

"Now play nice Red, you're in a lot of trouble this time."

They hauled her away leaving Kira standing on the sidewalk as another police cruiser pulled into the parking lot next to a couple of black SUVs.

_Go inside. You promised Spencer you'd come talk to the team. _

Her hands began to tremble. Going inside was hard enough, knowing that Spencer waited for her, but what about the rest of his team.

_They'll think you're completely stupid and overreacting._

She turned around to see if maybe the cabbie waited, but he was gone. It would take time for another cab to pick her up and Spencer might come out looking for her if she didn't go inside. His beautiful eyes surfaced in her mind and she shook for a different reason. She'd go inside just for the chance to see those eyes again.

The inside of the precinct looked different from what she'd seen on television. A man in a uniform sat at a long desk that separated the entry from several other cops at their desks. He looked up when she hesitated at his desk.

"Um… I'm supposed to see Dr. Spencer Reid."

"You're in the wrong place for a doctor." He said dismissively.

"He's an FBI agent. I have information about those murdered girls at the university." She said, desperate for his attention.

"Alright young lady, what's your name?" He eyed her like she'd sworn at him.

"My name is Kira Reynolds." Her voice had started to shake, like her hands.

"I wasn't told you were expected and the FBI agents are very busy."

"Can you just call Dr. Reid? I have his number and he'll tell you -"

The officer narrowed his grey eyes at her. "Look… I told you the FBI's very busy. We can't have people coming in off the street claiming to know something about a case that's been all over the news."

"But Dr. Reid asked me to meet him and his team here he said -"

"Did you say Dr. Reid?" A woman with long blond hair and beautiful blue eyes was hurrying past the desk with a phone in her hand.

"Yes."

"Are you Kira Reynolds?" The woman said her voice very kind and warm.

"Yes, um I didn't know where to go."

"Do you know her Agent Jareau?" The officer said very skeptical.

"Yes… I should have told you we were expecting her." JJ said.

The officer went back to his paperwork without acknowledging JJ's explanation. JJ only sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry," she led Kira around the desk to the big open area with lots of desks.

Some of the police officers were talking to people in handcuffs at their desks and some were dealing with distraught citizens of the State of Virginia. One woman with long black cornrows in her hair screamed at the officer trying to talk to her. The language she used was even worse than the things "Red" had said to Kira on her way in.

"I've never been to a police station before and I didn't know what to do."

"Of course you didn't, Spence would've waited for you but the case kind of took another turn this afternoon and he's really busy."

"Oh," Kira tried to stop goggling around her at three officers that dealt with a very large man who seemed bent of knocking them to the grey tiled floor. "Let go of me you f-ing pigs!" He shouted.

"I don't want to bother you guys if you're busy. What if what I told Dr. Reid about ends up being nothing?"

JJ stopped and laid a hand on her arm. "If Spence thinks we should talk to you, then it must be important. I trust his judgment over anyone else's opinion. It's one of the reasons he's my son's Godfather."

"You have a baby," Kira blurted out, not thinking, and immediately blushed.

"Yes… He's nearly two years old." JJ beamed. "In fact, I'm in the process of trying to plan a wedding to his father. It's a long story." She said by way of explanation.

"Oh… um congratulations," Kira said, rather lamely she thought.

"Thanks…" They resumed their walk to the conference room at the end of the hall. "I'm crazy with happiness these days.

Kira stopped as they approached the doorway with a partially open wooden door. She glanced over at JJ feeling the butterflies in her stomach begin to hop around in earnest.

"Don't worry," JJ smiled at her. "We don't bite."

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Reid stared at the map tacked up to the white board at the far end of the room. He was supposed to be working on the geographical profile, but his legendary concentration was shattered in a million pieces.

_I can't believe you have our boxers in a knot over that girl. If you'd let me take over we could do so much better than her. _

_Shut up… I have to concentrate and I don't like how you talk about her. She's nice, sweet, and pretty. I like her. Don't mess it up for me!_

_I'm not settling for little Miss Drab when we've had woman ten times as hot._

_I'm not listening to you. I like her… It's my body and my choice. You're just along for the ride. I can make you go away permanently if I want to._

_You don't want to genius boy. You need me._

_I don't need you. I'm not a helpless child anymore. Go away…_

"Hey Spence!"

He gulped and turned around to see JJ standing in the doorway with Kira. He hoped he hadn't spoken aloud. Everyone stared at him so he stepped forward to greet Kira.

"Hi…" His voice squeaked. He coughed and started again. "Hi, um thanks for coming."

"It's okay," she said softly. Her hazel green eyes had latched on to him like a life preserver. He felt his face get hot at the intensity in her gaze.

"Um… This is Kira Reynolds," He introduced her to the team.

Thank you for coming in on such short notice." Hotch extended a hand to her. "I'm SSA Hotchner."

"Oh, ah you're welcome. I'm sure it's nothing…"

Hotch gave her a small smile. "Reid believes the call is significant and that's enough for us."

The rest of the team nodded their heads. Reid noticed that Morgan was looking at Kira with an expression that promised teasing. Oh well, he'd just have to deal with it.

"This is Agent David Rossi." He gestured to the oldest profiler.

"I know you," Kira blurted out, then turned bright red. "I read one of your books last year."

Rossi raised his eyebrows. "You enjoyed it," He said as a certainty, not a question.

"Um… yeah, it was good." She said, not looking at him.

"Have a seat over there," Morgan said breaking into the silence that followed. He indicated the chair at the oval shaped desk next to where Reid stood at the white board. Reid gave Morgan his best death stare only to have the older profiler smirk at him.

"This is Agent Morgan," Reid said through his teeth, "and Agent Emily Prentiss."

Emily sat across from Kira. She gave the girl a warm smile. He noticed Kira looking at JJ and Emily with undisguised envy. Her body language shut down. She folded her arms around her torso and seemed to shut down. She looked up at him and the misery in her eyes screamed for him to do something but he didn't know what to do.

"Kira," Emily said.

The young woman looked reluctantly at the beautiful agent. "Why don't you tell me what happened." Emily acted as if the rest of the team wasn't there despite all their eyes on Kira.

"It started a couple days ago. I got these hang ups on my cell in the middle of the night. I was mad and told the person off, cause it was like two in the morning. Then yesterday I had a message on my phone that he was going to see me soon."

"Did you recognize his voice?" Emily asked.

Kira looked all around the room as if she wanted to bolt. "No… He was whispering."

She talked with her eyes on the table. "It probably doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry I wasted your time, I should just go."

She jumped up and ran from the room so fast no one had time to stop her. Reid put down his red market and started after her. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he had to do something.

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He watched her leave the police station. Perhaps he should drop his plans with her. She'd obviously gone to talk to the FBI working the case. If they traced him through her, it was all over. Perhaps he'd simply speed up his timetable and grab her sooner than he planned.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in irritation. He'd made the same kinds of calls to all of his victims, but none of them had run to the police. Perhaps Kira Reynolds was more resourceful than he thought.

His hands tightened on the wheel when that skinny Dr. Reid came out of the building behind her. He watched as the good doctor tried to talk to the obviously distraught young woman. It made him laugh to see how hard it was for him to comfort the poor girl.

Still, she looked at him like she had no business looking at any man. She was his, damn it, he thought completely enraged. He'd show her what happened to girls that betrayed his trust. Her purity and light was his to take not some skinny FBI agent. Perhaps it was time to watch and learn all he could about this Dr. Reid. He could be useful after all.


	11. Normal

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Normal_**

Kira's chest hurt like an elephant had decided to camp out on top of her. She stopped just outside the door to the police station taking in huge gulping breaths of warm summer air into her overtaxed lungs. Her head buzzed and her mouth felt like noon in the Sahara.

Hateful tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over on her cheeks. She wiped at them angrily. Only babies cried when things got rough, was something that her father used to tell her. He would get so angry when she cried. He said the world held no respect for someone that cried in the face of stress or anger.

Spencer must hate her… His friends had to think her nuts. She just couldn't make anything good happen in her life. She messed it up all the time. Why couldn't she just be assertive and comfortable in her skin?

Her heart thumped slowly rather than the frantic pace set inside that room. Her breathing eased, but the tears wouldn't stop dropping from her eyes. She fumbled in her pocket, drawing out her cell phone. If she could get a cab back fast, then she could hide away and not deal with the embarrassing scene she'd just made. They wouldn't want to talk to her again anyway.

Her phone almost slipped out of her sweaty hands when she heard Spencer's voice behind her. "Kira?"

His tentative tone shot right into her stomach, filling it up with butterflies again. She decided not to turn around and look at him because she couldn't bear to see the disappointment and irritation that were sure to be in his eyes. "Go away…" She sniffed.

She turned around when Spencer didn't say anything, hoping he'd left her alone. No such luck… He stood there staring at her with eyes that reminded her of a fawn she'd seen in the woods during one of the endless camping trips her father had inflicted on her and her mother. She'd come across the young deer as she played with one of her cousins near the huge and ancient rockslide behind their grandfather's cabin. The baby deer had stood staring at her for the longest time. She'd reached out one of her hands to touch its nose, but it had bounded off into the underbrush, disappointing her, like the feral kittens on her grandfather's farm that always hid from her.

Spencer's eyes looked like that little deer, as if he wanted to run away. He didn't move, just stood there waiting for her to talk.

"Please just go away and leave me alone." She cried. "I can't go back in there with those people."

"I'm sorry," Spencer said softly.

Surprise flicked the butterflies to life in her stomach. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I asked you to talk to my team."

"I wanted to talk to you," she protested. "I want to help catch this creep. I don't want him to hurt someone else."

"I understand," Spencer said in that same soft tone that was like melted chocolate. "I know what it's like to be in a room with people, and you have to talk, but you can't make your mouth form the right words. You want to run away, or say something so out there that they'll leave you alone, because they'll realize that you're not that smart or talented, that you're just a person that wants to be liked for yourself and not what you can do for some case. Then they won't depend on you for anything important, and then you'll always be safe."

His hands moved as he spoke, like birds in the air. They were so graceful and delicate yet so strong at the same time. She felt the nearly uncontrollable urge to clasp one of his hands to still its nervous movement. At the same time, she couldn't believe that he knew what she felt inside after just a few minutes in that room.

"How did you know?" Her surprise at her thoughts spoken aloud made her ask the question.

"I've never had a normal day in my life Kira… I know how you feel, because I feel it every single day, although it has gotten easier for me since I came to the FBI. I found people that accept me for who I am, but it's hard to leave a lifetime of those feelings behind."

"I'm sorry that I embarrassed you. I get so mad at myself because I can't deal with people making me the center of attention. I know it's stupid, because there's more important stuff like finding this killer." She twisted her hands together because his eyes were mesmerizing. They made her stomach tingle.

"You don't have to go back inside if you don't want to. May I ask you a question?"

Her heart began to jackhammer again. "Sure," she said breathlessly.

"While we were waiting for you Hotch and discussed putting trace on your phone. If you get more calls, we might be able to track it to the un-sub."

"Um yeah… I guess that's okay." _Of course, he only wanted her to help him. _She'd scared him off for good. She put her hands behind her back so he couldn't see how they shook.

"May I ask you something else?" He moved closer to her.

The heat from his body sent her heart beating again. The tears in her eyes dried up and her stomach tingled. "Yeah…"

"I wanted to ask you if we could go out… Tonight if that's okay."

For a few seconds she was utterly incapable of speech. This beautiful man was asking her out. It had to be some kind of weird waking fantasy. Maybe it was a result of the stress of coming to this place. She was imagining things. Very soon, she'd snap out if it and be right back where she started, alone in front of the police station.

"Kira?"

It obviously wasn't a dream. Spencer stood right in front of her. He was looking at her as if he expected an answer, so it had to be true. Her heart raced. "Um… Yeah, I guess so. Yeah… I'd like that."

"We're done for the day. I've been working on a geographical profile, but it's not going anywhere. All of the victims disappeared from the area around the university. The problem is that there are a lot of business, homes, apartments and the school itself to go through…"

He suddenly trailed off and smiled at her. "I'm sorry. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous."

She watched him rub the knuckles of his right hand over his jaw. How could he be nervous with her when she didn't have a special bone in her body?

"It's okay," she said feeling her mouth smile. "I understand."

"So do you think we could maybe get something to eat?" He asked again.

"Sure, um that'd be great." She bit her lower lip.

"Come on, my car's hidden behind the SUVs." He motioned to the other end of the parking lot. "You pick the restaurant."

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He noticed that Kira studied the homes and the people on the streets as he drove them to their destination. He rarely drove his ancient Volvo on the job, but he'd already decided to go straight home from the police station instead of back to Quantico, because it was closer. Now he was happy that he could leave with Kira before the rest of the team came looking for them. He'd called Hotch once they were on the road and explained where he'd gone. Fortunately, the team had indeed hit a dead end and Hotch was about to leave things where they were for the day.

"Kira…" He said, his voice trembling.

"Hm…" She kept her eyes on the road.

Her dark blonde hair lay across her shoulders in waves. He noticed some red strands in it that caught the light. He had to force his eyes back to the road so they wouldn't crash, and so she wouldn't see him staring at her profile. She had the most interesting nose.

"Where do you want to go to eat?" He managed to ask without squeaking or stuttering, only because he kept his eyes on the road and not her face.

He saw her reach up and pull off her glasses. She exchanged them for a dark pair in her purse. The sun was going down and it was nearly blinding through the windshield. "I always wanted to try 'Blue.' It's not too far from here. Is that okay?"

"Um sure, I don't go out to eat much so I don't really know the good places."

"I would've thought you guys eat out all the time."

He could see her out of the corner of his eye. She wasn't looking out the window anymore. She was looking at him. His mouth went dry and he swallowed hard. Perhaps looking at her face would be easier with her eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Well… All he could do was try to hope he didn't say anything stupid. He glanced over and noticed that she was smiling in a teasing sort of way.

"Oh, well, we do eat out a lot when we have to go out in the field. I just meant that I don't get out a lot here at home."

"Me either," she admitted going scarlet.

She turned back to staring at the window. He didn't say anything for a very long time. She didn't talk at all. It wasn't the kind of companionable silence you read about in books, it was fraught with tension and an electricity he'd never felt. It felt like he'd rubbed a balloon on the side of his head making his hair stand up on end from the electric charge.

_What do I say next?_

_If you'd let me pick out dates you wouldn't need to wonder what to talk about._

_Go away…_

_No, I will not go away! You've had control for weeks now. I want to come out and play. We need fun occasionally and I can't count on you. _

_Please don't mess this up for me. I like her. She's nice, not easy like you seem to enjoy._

_I like easy … They don't expect anything in the morning._

"Spencer?"

"What? Oh I'm sorry," He glanced over to see that she'd been speaking to him and he hadn't heard a word she said.

"I asked if you think the person calling me is this killer you're looking for."

He kept his eyes on the road because her face was pale around her large framed sunglasses. Lila Archer suddenly popped in his mind. She'd asked him the same kinds of questions when they had no idea who her stalker was. He remembered how thoughtlessly honest he'd been with her and the aftermath. He sighed.

"I don't know Kira… It could be a coincidence."

"But you don't believe in coincidence." Kira said in a trembling voice.

He looked over again to see her looking at him like the rest of her life depended on the content of his answer. He gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"Well, most of the men who make calls like the kind you've received get their sexual satisfaction from control and from the risk involved. Some of them can become stalkers, and violent, but for the most part they're just kids playing around. It's like a game."

Some of that was true, he thought as he watched her face. The tension around her mouth relaxed a little as she studied him.

"So you think it could be some kids playing on the phone. Didn't that go out with caller ID?" She challenged him.

"Sure, but you can block caller ID if you want." He reminded her keeping his eyes on the road.

"That's true… So what you're saying is that either I have a crazed serial killer after me, or some horny teenagers?"

He glanced back over at her to see that she was smiling for the first time that afternoon and it changed her whole face. Now he wished her beautiful eyes didn't hide behind those glasses. He wanted see her them as she smiled at him.

The restaurant appeared ahead of them on their left in a small strip mall. He pulled into the parking lot and parked. He answered her last question as he turned off the engine. "Yeah… I guess that's exactly what I'm saying." He couldn't help smiling at the absurdity on her predicament. "At least you can laugh." He teased.

She got out of the car before he could run around and open the door for her. "If you can't laugh at yourself you might as well crawl off and die somewhere."

He snorted out laughter. "True…" _How could she be so nonchalant? _He wondered.

_I might have to reevaluate my opinion of this girl_. Ian spoke up. _At least she isn't a stick in the mud like you._

_This from a James Bond wannabe, that can't be serious a minute in his life._

_At least I know how to have fun._

Reid decided not to go there. He opened the door to the brand new glass and steel building.

"Thank you kind sir," Kira quipped.

"You're welcome gentle lady."

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He parked his car across the street and watched them get out of Dr. Reid's car. He laughed aloud. From all the research he'd done on the team, he'd determined that Dr Reid had brains. Why would a smart man drive a car that looked like it might fall apart at any moment? And people were out there calling him crazy and depraved on the news.

Well… time to get comfortable. At times, watching his victims could be very tedious, but he had to determine just the right time to strike. He smiled at the thought of his latest gift to the FBI and the police. They obviously had no clue to his identity yet. It made it all the easier, and more satisfying for him to know he sat right under their noses and they didn't know it.


	12. Misunderstandings

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Misunderstandings_**

The inside of the restaurant continued the glass and steel theme to the tables and chairs. Steel blue paint covered the walls from floor to ceiling. The tables were all different kinds of geometric shapes, mirroring the Art Deco period. There were mirrors on the ceiling, which distracted Reid for a minute as they waited for the hostess.

"Wow… I've never seen a place like this before," Kira said in whisper.

"I heard you can't get near this place on the weekend." Reid said.

Kira grinned up at him. "I guess it's a good thing it's Thursday night."

As it was, they only had to wait fifteen minutes for a table, which was shaped like a glass pentagon.

"Did you know that a pentagon can be simple or self-intersecting? The internal angles of a simple pentagon equal 540 degrees. A pentagram is an example of a self intersecting pentagon." Reid said matter-factually.

Kira studied him with a cocked head. "Do you know everything?" She asked seriously, not in a teasing way like other people.

"No, I read a lot." He squeaked. "I haven't read everything ever written that would be nearly impossible." He pointed out.

"I like to read too. I used to spend the summertime reading in my room. I didn't have any friends when I was little."

He looked up from his menu. "I don't believe that. You're a very nice person."

Her cheeks went pink. "People don't like introverts. They think we're odd or strange."

His heart thumped in surprise. She said the very same thing he always thought about the way others saw him even after all this time on his team.

"I know what you mean." He said softly.

Their waiter appeared seemingly out of thin air. "I'm Danny," He smiled at them. "I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Yes," Kira said. "I'd like a root beer."

"I'll have an iced coffee." Reid said very casually.

"Are you ready to order, or do you need a few minutes?" The young man asked smiling around a mouthful of brilliant white and straight teeth.

"We'd like a couple of minutes," Reid answered.

"You like coffee, don't you." Kira said while perusing her menu.

"Why does everyone say that?" Reid squeaked, hiding behind his menu.

"Because you drink it like it's about to be banned," Kira pointed out.

"I do not," Reid responded, still hiding behind his menu.

"Then why is it that in the three times we've been together I've never see you drinking anything else?"

He didn't speak because she was right and he didn't want to admit it. Instead, he said, "I'm going to have a club sandwich and fries."

He finally looked over to see her eyeing him over the top of her menu. "Do you always change the subject when other people talk about you to your face?"

He gulped audibly. "No," He lied outright.

Kira stared at him, disbelief in her beautiful green hazel eyes. "It's okay, I don't like attention either. It makes me feel like I have to talk. Then I do and I say something stupid and I mess it up."

"You haven't messed it up with me." He said very softly.

Her cheeks went pink. "Really?"

"No, um I mean yes," He stuttered.

They were staring at each other when Danny the server came back with their drinks and a basket of sourdough bread that was supposed to be the specialty of the house.

"Have you decided what you want?" He asked breaking into their silence.

"Oh," Reid snapped his eyes away from Kira. "I'd like the club sandwich and fries.

Danny looked expectantly at Kira, "I'll just have a dinner salad with the honey mustard dressing on the side."

"Are you sure that's all you want?" Reid asked after the server left the table.

She looked down at her hands. "I'm trying to lose a few pounds."

"What? You don't need to lose any weight. You look good."

She picked at the short sleeve of the white tee shirt she wore with a new pair of jeans. "Let's just say that food's not my best friend. I always eat when I'm stressed or upset, or bored."

"You should watch your intake of sodium because it increases cravings." Reid began to lecture.

She glared up at him and he gulped. "I'm sorry… I'm doing it again."

Her eyes went soft again. "It's okay… I never had problems with my weight until college. I think it's all the stress of trying to decide what you going to do with your life. I have all the money I'll ever need because of my parents death. I don't have to get out there and work hard like other people do so I just wonder what to do with my life that contributes something."

Reid picked up the small loaf of bread, tore off, and couple of pieces. "Eat this…" He ordered placing it on the small plate next to her water glass."

"Yes sir," She saluted and picked up her butter knife.

"I get what you mean." He said while watching her smoothes some of the butter onto her bread. "I was going to the University of Virginia and working on my last doctorate. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do when I was down. I mean, I loved school, but I didn't want to be one of those professional students."

Kira choked on her first bite from the chunk of bread. She took a large sip of water and grinned at him. "I know what you mean. There's a couple like that in my creative writing class."

"When did you start writing?" Reid asked her around his chunk of bread. "Sorry, I don't usually talk with my mouthful."

She laughed. "Oh no you don't, we were talking about you, remember?"

It was his turn to choke on his water. "We were?" He stammered.

"Yeah… You were about to tell me all about how you decided to become a profiler."

Danny came back and left her salad. "Are you sure that's all you want ma'am," he asked her.

She looked at the salad, and then at Reid. "What the hell just bring me the pasta I saw on the menu?"

Danny nodded and added it to their order. Kira narrowed her eyes at Reid. "Happy now…"

"Yes, I'm very happy." He shot back cheekily.

"Now tell me what you were going to say before we were so rudely interrupted." She demanded.

"I met a man named Jason Gideon when I was at the university. I was twenty years old at the time and very interested in the psychology of the deviant mind. He came to speak at a recruitment seminar. He said I asked all the right questions and he was impressed with my enthusiasm. When I decided, I wanted to join the bureau he pulled strings to get me into the BAU. Usually you have to be a lot older to join a unit like the Behavioral Science Unit. I was twenty-two when I started there. Of course I had to go through all the training programs and pass all the physical requirements to get in."

"Did you have to do defensive driving courses and learn how to shoot and all that?" She asked as Danny came back with their orders.

"Yes… Profilers don't have to carry weapons, but everyone else on the team could shoot so I wanted to do it. I was really bad the first couple of years in the unit. I failed my qualifications twice my second year."

She put a mouthful of three cheese ravioli in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully as he talked. "So have you ever shot anyone?"

His hands went ice cold and he couldn't look at her. "Yes, but I'm not proud of it."

"Did I say something wrong?"

He raised his eyes to see fear clouding her lovely face. "No, I'm sorry for sounding so harsh. I really can't talk about it."

"It's okay." She reached over and touched his hand.

He flinched and pulled his hand away from her. She stared at him for a very long minute as tears welled up in her eyes. "Um… I need to go to the restroom." She jumped up from her chair and fled.

"Nice going," he berated himself under his breath. "Why didn't you just slap her across the face idiot?"

He pushed his food around on his plate for about five minutes until he heard an unfamiliar voice address him in a way that sent shivers down his spine, and not in a good way.

"Hello Ian… What are you doing here all by your lonesome?"

He looked up to see a tall, raven-haired beauty standing over his table. Her scarlet painted lips pouted down at him. "I'm pretty mad at you for leaving me in the middle of the night."

She wagged her finger at him as if he was a naughty little boy.

"I don't know who you are ma'am." He denied, feeling his heart begin to race and his face get very hot.

"It's me… Mindy." She cooed at him. "Don't you remember that night we spent at the Fairview inn. The honeymoon suite with that hot tub for two and those delicious, red strawberries.

She licked her lips and reached for his hand.

"Don't touch me." He said loudly enough for the other patrons to look at them. "I don't know who you are." He said more softly. "You've mistaken me for someone else."

There was movement behind the woman who'd sat down in Kira's chair. It was Kira, and she was looking at them like she'd received an electric shock to the bottom of her feet.

"Don't be shy Ian. I said no strings attached last time and the same goes. I do not like your wardrobe though. Where did you get that sweater?" Her high pitch giggle would've set dogs barking had they been within a ten-mile radius.

"I don't know you." He insisted.

Kira turned and almost ran out of the room ignoring Reid calling after her. He jumped up leaving a couple of bills on the table and hurried after her as fast as he could.


	13. Explanations

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Explanations_**

"Kira…" Reid called as he dashed through the front entrance of the restaurant.

He almost knocked over a man entering with his wife in his haste to find her. "Watch where you're going young fellow," The old man admonished him with a shake of his fist.

"Sorry," he yelled back over his shoulder.

The sun had fully set, turning the early evening into shades of violet and dark blue, as twilight advanced slowly into night. He searched frantically for Kira and nearly missed her sitting on the edge of a bench to the left of the entryway.

"Kira?"

"Go away." She said in a watery voice.

"Please listen to me."

He perched on the end of the bench as another couple, dressed up for more than dinner, passed them into the golden light of the restaurant.

"I saw that woman flirting with you."

She turned to sit with her back to him. He could see her head dropping between her shoulders and hear the tears in her voice.

"She made a mistake. She thought I was someone else. She even called me by the wrong name. I swear I don't know her."

"Will you please just take me home?"

His heart sank at her tone. Another part of him felt a deep flash of irritation with her.

_You should be irritated. She goes out with you once and that makes you her exclusive property. _Ian said.

_It's your fault! I wouldn't be in this situation if not for one of your 'conquests' messing it up for me._

_She was hot, not like little Miss Virgin America._

_Don't talk that way about her!_

"Spencer… Are you listening to me?" Kira's angry voice punched through the argument.

Two teenage boys with their girlfriends passed Reid sniggering as they passed by the couple. "I'm sorry Kira… I'll take you home if that's what you want. Will you please let me tell you something before I do?"

She turned back to him with tears on her cheeks in the low yellow light and shadow. She sniffed and he could see the desire to believe him with her confusion warring in her eyes. "Alright… What do you want to say?"

"Can we go somewhere more private? I don't want to talk about this here."

A large family with four children hurried by them as they stood up to leave. The restaurant was beginning to fill up as the sky darkened to black.

"Um… okay," She walked beside him to his car maintaining a careful distance. He beat her to the passenger side door. He unlocked it and held it open for her. "Thank you," She said quietly wiping her nose with Kleenex she'd pulled from her purse.

They didn't notice the car pull out behind them and follow them as they left Blue for the main highway.

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"Do you trust me enough to go to my place?" Reid asked after debating for the first five minutes of the journey.

"I don't think -"

"I live on the fourth floor and I have a little balcony. We can sit outside if you'd like and talk. It's still warm. You can see the lights of the city. It's really beautiful." He heard a pleading tone in his voice, but didn't care.

"Alright, I guess that will be safe enough."

He relaxed at the slightly teasing tone of her voice. The rest of the journey to his apartment went in silence of the same type as earlier in the evening. The same electricity in the air passed back and forth between them. He could feel her warmth reaching out to him. Shivers raced up his back. Maybe taking her to his place was a bad idea.

Soon enough they reached his apartment complex. He led her to the elevator. The doors opened to an empty car, which made the tingles pop out on his arms again. She stood facing the doors next to him and didn't seem to be affected by the close quarters of the elevator car.

When they finally reached his door, his hands were shaking so badly he couldn't work the key to the front door. He dropped it three times. "Sorry," he said popping up the last time and ramming it home in the lock.

He gestured for her to come after he flipped on the lights. "I know it's not a great place but…"

She turned in a half circle looking at his ragged sofa, huge leather reclining chair and ugly beige carpet. "It's fine. Actually I sort of expected that," She pointed to the large bookcase standing up to the ceiling and crammed with books.

He smiled. "I like reading."

She twisted her fingers together. "So what did you want to say to me?"

He pointed to the sliding porch door at one end of the living room. "Please come sit outside with me and I'll explain."

She followed him out to the porch. He flipped on the porch light and let her take the most comfortable chair of his old porch furniture that he'd brought up from Las Vegas years ago.

"I meant it when I told you that I didn't know that woman in the restaurant. Do you believe me?"

"Yes." She looked at the lights of the city instead of his face, but he accepted her response without comment.

"She thought I was Ian." He said very carefully.

Kira slid her eyes over to him. "Who's Ian? Do you know him?"

"First, I have to tell you about what happened to me as a kid. I didn't mean to tell you any of this until we got to know each other better, but now I know its better that you know."

She fidgeted with the ring on her right pointer finger, twisting it around and around. "You're scaring me Spencer."

"I know… I'm not trying to scare you, but there are things you need to know about me because I really like you. Do you believe me?"

"I - I want to believe you. It's just that guys like you don't like me that way." She stared off into the night once again.

"I do." He reached across the small table sitting between them and took her hand. "I'm sorry I pulled away from you in Blue. I don't like touch. There are lots of reasons why, but the more important thing is that Ian is a part of me."

"I don't understand." Her hand gripped his so hard he winced, but he didn't pull back.

"When I was four years old, my parents helped cover up a vigilante killing. One of our neighbors lost a son to a pedophile. His father found a man that he believed to be responsible. He beat him to death with a bat. My mother, who's mentally ill, witnessed part of it. I saw bits and pieces of what happened, like my father burning her bloody clothes, and my mother crying. I thought when my memories of the event finally came back a couple of years ago, that my dad was the child killer."

"I'm sorry…" She said rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. "You were so young."

"The man my neighbor killed approached me in the park just before he killed Riley. I played chess against him. It was my favorite thing to do, beat all the adults at the game. My mother saw us together and recognized him for what he was. She says he didn't hurt me, that it never got that far."

He snuck a peek at her. She was studying him, but she didn't pull away. There was only compassion in her eyes.

"My father left six years later. He and my mother couldn't deal with the pressures of keeping such a secret. I thought for years that he hated me, but he didn't, he just couldn't deal with his part in that cover up.

"He missed out on a lot." Kira said softly keeping her tight grip on his hand. For the first time, he found another's touch soothing, rather than invasive.

"My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She has been ill for as long as I can remember. After dad left, I had to run the house, take care of her and go to school. I had to fool the teachers, and any other adult into believing that everything was okay with mom, that she could take care of me. I knew that if anyone found out I would be taken away from her. I had to deal with bullies at school everyday. They beat me up on a daily basis, shoved me into my locker and other stuff you don't need to know. For eight long years, I dealt with it until I was old enough to declare her incompetent. I had her put into an institution the day I turned eighteen. I wanted my own life. She was so angry with me. It took me years to realize that it was the disease and not her."

He looked out at the multicolored lights of the city and the brightly lit windows of the homes that surrounded the complex. He wished he could be in one of them with a normal life instead of the life he had with Ian in his head and all the blood and death.

Kira didn't say anything while he gathered his thoughts for the next part of what he had to tell her.

"Sometimes when the mind has to cope with trauma over an extended period of time and when the subject is young enough, a break can occur to protect them. It's called Multiple Personality Disorder. Another personality emerges and takes over the body. Sometimes the person is aware of the other personality, but most of the time they don't realize that the blackouts are a result of another personality taking control."

"I don't understand." She said, but he could see in her eyes that she was beginning to make connections.

"Ian is the name of the secondary personality in my mind. I don't remember when I first noticed him. I think I was around thirteen at the time. He could have come out before that, but I don't remember. Perhaps puberty had something to do with it to." He spoke very fast.

She let go of his hand and his heart sank like a stone. "Are you afraid of me now?" He asked, wishing she wouldn't answer.

"I don't understand," she repeated. "You mean you have another personality like that show "Sybil" I saw on television."

"Yes… but as far as I know there's only one other personality. He's a ladies' man and a James Bond type, completely opposite from me. I know he's there. He talks to me all the time and constantly tries to take over. The rest of my team doesn't know about him because I'd lose my job. They can't have agents with mental disorders in the field, but I can't give up my job. I love it. I help people. Ian doesn't want them to know because he knows they'd commit me and he doesn't want that." He peeked at her again to see how she was taking his revelations.

Her eyes behind her glasses were huge and fearful. She sat as far away from him as she could get on her chair. "I'm s-sorry," She jolted out of her chair. "I d-don't t-think I can h-handle this." She stuttered out. "I hardly know you and I… I should just go."

He sat there frozen in his seat. She was gone before it really registered to him that she had fled. Anger surged up in him. He had trusted her with the worst experiences of his life and she just ran.

_Way to go G-man. You got rid of her._

"Shut up and go away." He said aloud getting up to go back inside the apartment.

_No… I told you that other people can't be trusted. I'm the only one you can trust. I've protected you my whole life._

"I'm not listening to you. I won't let you ruin this for me." Reid said through clenched teeth. "Please just go away."

_I'm never going away. You need me Spencer._

"I don't need you." Reid shouted. "I want her. I want the chance to show her I can be trusted. Don't take that away from me."

_You're pathetic and so is she. We don't need her. I can find what we need._

"NO! I _will _not let you come out again."

Reid blinked and Ian said aloud. "You can't keep me bottled up like some genie in a fairy tale. Relax and let's have some fun. We don't need Kira Reynolds, you'll see."


	14. Control

**_Disclaimer: see me profile_**

**_Control_**

Kira dropped her purse on the couch and ran into her room. She climbed on the bed without taking off her shoes and began to sob. She thought she'd finally found a nice guy that liked her. She'd thought he was safe; after all, what could be safer than an FBI agent.

"Of course you'd attract a nut case." She croaked hopelessly. "The only guys that notice you are the crazy ones."

She turned over on her back in the darkness. First, she had someone calling her and now there was Spencer. How could someone so sweet and cute have some kind of mental problem?

"Who cares, just forget about him."

She pulled off her glasses and wiped her eyes. He'd really scared her. What if he went crazy and attacked her or something.

_What if he's just a nice guy with an added challenge?_

"I don't care." She said petulantly. "I can't handle this right now."

She reached for her phone… She could call Dr. Mount joy. He said that she could call him anytime she needed to talk. Her finger hovered over the buttons but she couldn't make them dial the number. It was after nine pm and it would be rude.

_He's a doctor. He's supposed to be helpful. He said you could call him anytime. Maybe he can give you some tips on how to talk to Spencer. _

_Oh yeah… That's a conversation stopper. "Hey Dr. Mount joy, I met this guy and he has another personality. Your thoughts?"_

She began to laugh out of sheer exhaustion and misery. That was a conversation she definitely didn't want to have with her doctor. Spencer was the one that needed professional help. _He's not your problem to deal with, _she told herself sternly.

The problem was that a pair of chocolate eyes kept popping up in her head. He'd been honest with her and she'd run away because she was scared.

_Anyone would do the same._

She closed her eyes again. "Mom… I wish you were here. Why did you have to leave me alone? I don't know what to do."

She turned over and cried until her head began to pound like a hammer on an anvil. She kicked off her shoes and crawled into bed with her clothes on. Right now, sleep was the only friend she had.

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He'd decided to stay and watch Dr. Reid's place instead of following Kira home. He needed more information on his adversary if he were going to prevail over the FBI.

His patience was rewarded when he saw Dr. Reid leave the apartment. The young doctor had changed his clothes, which didn't look like any outfit he'd ever seen on the FBI agent. His walk had changed too. He had a confident swagger that hadn't been there an hour ago. Interesting…

He was surprised when I cab pulled up and took Dr. Reid away. He followed for several miles to a small club just outside of Mclean. The joint was, as they say, jumping. It looked to him like all the clientele were young hot looking professionals with money and attitude.

The urge to go inside and see what this Dr. Reid was up to was nearly overwhelming, but he couldn't risk exposure. If Dr. Reid saw him and realized he was watching him, it would be all over.

So he waited patiently in his car. Patience was a virtue as his grandmother used to tell him. She said it was always rewarded. He'd been very patient for the last year in finding the right one. Kira was the right one. This time they would be happy. She was pure and filled with light that he needed. He would show her what she could be, but first he had to measure the threat against him.

He didn't care about the rest of the profilers. He had all the information on them that he needed. They were getting too close for comfort with Kira. The good doctor had to be taken care of if it became absolutely necessary.

Two hours passed slowly, and then Dr. Reid and a tall, slinky brunette in a very short black dress left the club. He watched them cross the parking lot to a small red convertible that he knew belonged to the woman.

They stood next to the car kissing and grabbing each other's asses. It looked like Dr. Reid had his tongue down the woman's throat and they didn't seem to care if others saw them.

He clenched his hands to the steering wheel so he didn't get out of the car. No one had respect for propriety anymore, something else his grandmother used to say. The leggy brunette had one leg wrapped around the doctor's left leg and was rubbing her foot up and down his calf. They were practically screwing each other right there against the car.

Finally, after several minutes they stopped pawing each other and got into the car. He let out a shaky breath, but couldn't force his hand off the wheel to turn on the car until the little convertible left the parking lot.

He tried to follow them, but she drove like she belonged on the NASCAR circuit. He lost them three miles down the road. It didn't matter though, because now he knew that Dr. Reid couldn't be trusted with his Kira. He'd make his move in the morning.

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Deborah loved men. Especially long, lean, sexy men with deep chocolate eyes like Ian. When he'd brought her favorite drink to her without asking, it should have been annoying. Instead, it had been a complete turn on. He had this way of talking and moving that captivated her entire attention.

"What're you thinking about over there?" Ian said.

His hand stroked her leg, pushing the silky material of her black dress up to the top of her thigh.

"Patience," she said, taking her hand off the stick shift and laying it on top of his long fingered hand.

"I have patience in spades." He grinned at her. "I'm just getting a feel for later."

"More like copping a feel," she shot back at him

His fingers felt like satin on her bare leg. If she hadn't been driving she might have encouraged him to take advantage of the fact that she didn't wear panties.

"I can't help it if you're so hot." He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Why don't I tell you all about what I'm going to do to you once we get to your place?"

"Slow down cowboy," she said rather faintly. "I don't want to have an accident."

"Why do we just pull into that parking lot?" He suggested about the building coming up fast on their right.

"That's a church house." She protested, but she screamed into the parking lot nonetheless.

"You better be ready to put your mouth where your money is." She said climbing into his lap.

"Don't worry about me," he reached up under her dress and cupped her bare ass. "Feeling good so far."

Her lips crashed down on his mouth. Her hands tangled in his hair tugging on it hard as his tongue laved the inside of her mouth. He bit the tip of her tongue and she jumped grateful that the top of the car was soft.

"Back seat," he suggested when they finally had to breathe.

"No way…" She said, tugging at his belt.

"Lady's choice," he confirmed, unzipping the back of her dress.

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"I'm sorry," Ian said for the fifth time.

That had to be a record because he didn't apologize to anyone, least of all a woman. "They say it happens to every guy once in a while."

"Well I didn't leave a rocking party for you're once in a while." She raged at him, her dark eyes sparking at him. "Get out of my car." She snapped.

"Come one baby," he reached over for her, but she flinched away from him.

"I'm serious; I want you out of my car. I'm going home. I've got to work in the morning." She said primly.

"You weren't worried about that five minutes ago." Ian snapped.

"Six minutes ago I didn't know you couldn't get it up." She argued.

He almost slapped her, but he knew she'd probably call the cops on him if he did. "I don't need this bitch." He leaped out of the car as she lunged over the gearshift at him.

"Get lost jackass." She screamed out of the window.

She screamed out of the parking lot nearly as fast as she'd entered, leaving him there in the dark.

"I hope you're happy." He said.

_I told you I'm getting stronger._

"F-off," Ian screeched. "She was hot."

_You needed to be taken down a peg._

"I'm going to make you pay for that." Ian said as he walked out of the parking lot into the pool of golden light from the street lamp. "Maybe I'll walk home all alone in the dark." Ian taunted.

_Do what you like… I really don't care._

"I wanted to nail Diane." Ian said pulling out their cell phone.

_Her name was Deborah. You don't even care enough to remember her name. _

Ian ignored him long enough to dial the phone for a cab. "I don't need to remember names." He resumed the argument. "I'm not looking for true looove."

_Too bad… I want love and a lasting relationship for once in my life._

Ian simply waited for the cab. It was pointless to argue with someone that wouldn't leave his head just as he wouldn't leave Spencer's head. They were one and the same.

"You hear me Spencer. We are the same."

_We're nothing alike Ian. I told you I won't let you ruin my life and I mean it. _

"Don't tell me you've fallen in love." Ian said in disgust.

_I don't believe in love at first sight._

"At least we have something in common." Ian said as he paced watching cars go by to places unknown.

_Yeah… I guess we do, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you force me to have sex with some woman I don't know. _

"I didn't force you to do anything. I have control now." Ian found a bus stop bench and sat down.

_True, but I've never been able to exert control over you before now. I'm getting stronger._

Ian flagged down the cab when it came into sight. "Don't get too comfortable Spencer. It won't happen again."


	15. Advice

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Advice_**

Reid drug himself out of bed the next morning at the insistent beeping of his alarm. He couldn't seem to stop yawning as he showered, shaved and combed his hair. He nicked his chin in three places shaving, which didn't improve his mood.

He decided to stop at the cafe for coffee. Maybe Kira would be there and he could talk to her. She was still a potential target for their un-sub and Hotch would be irritated if anything happened to her.

_I think someone's making excuses. _

_I don't want to hear it Ian. _

_Too bad Special Agent Lame… You ruined last night because you don't want to be unfaithful to Miss Boring. Did you forget she ran out on us?_

_It's your fault… Why can't you go away and leave me alone. I don't need you anymore. _

Ian's voice went silent in his head as Spencer finished dressing. He pulled off the twists of tissue he'd used to staunch the bleeding of his shaving nicks. They weren't too noticeable, thank goodness, or he'd have Morgan asking him why.

His heart beat a little faster. He'd forgotten about the team and Kira running out on the briefing. He'd spoken to Hotch, but the rest of them he'd left without explanation. He hoped that they would understand.

He hit the café at just the right time. Most of the commuter traffic had already passed through so he didn't have to wait in line very long. He'd given himself half an hour to wait for her if necessary. He was going to apologize for scaring her and try to make it up to her, if she'd let him.

"Hey Dr. Reid," the usual girl behind the counter greeted him with a wink as always, "the usual?" She asked.

"Yeah… Um, Can I have one of those chocolate chip muffins?" He pointed to the last one in the case.

"I've been saving that one just for you." She explained grabbing her tongs.

"You have?" He squeaked.

"Of course… You're too skinny." She teased.

He felt his face going red. "Everyone says that." He said glumly

She laughed as she handed him a very large cup of coffee, heavy on the sugar and his muffin. "At least you can get away with junk food. In fact, now that I think about it - it's kind of irritating."

"I have a fast metabolism." He squeaked, as he pulled a couple of bills out of his wallet.

"Yeah… See no woman wants to hear that from a guy." She said with a grin.

"Sorry…"

"Here's your change. Have a good day." She passed over a couple of one-dollar bills and some coins.

"You too," He took the muffin and went to the same table where he'd met Kira.

He drank some of the coffee because his eyes were still dropping under the weight of less than four hours sleep. He picked at the edges of the muffin thinking about the aborted dinner date with Kira. He shouldn't have told her about Ian. Now she's never talk to him again.

He looked up every time the door opened as five minutes passed with agonizing slowness. He'd picked half his muffin into small pieces he didn't want to eat. He'd hoped Kira would come in and they could share it but she wasn't going to show up.

"I haven't seen her in here today young fella." An old man with white hair and kind blue eyes took the table next to him.

Reid realized he'd seen this man in the café, but really hadn't notice him except to see that he wore a brace on his left leg.

"My name is Lloyd," The old man said. "Kira's talked about you."

Spencer noticed the old man sat up straight as a poker in his chair. He studied Reid with narrowed eyes that filled the young profiler with the same feeling he had every time Hotch got angry with him for doing something to endanger him or others.

"Yes sir," Reid gulped.

"What's your name?"

"Dr. Spencer Reid."

"I think you should know that she's had it really rough in her life. My wife died a few years ago and I've rather been at a loose end. We met when Kira came here to school. She's made my life worth living again because she humors an old man and his stories. She's a sweet and kind young woman. I want her to be happy."

"Sir I don't know what you're trying to say." Reid said helplessly. "I hardly know her."

"I realize that… I've seen you in here twice with her. I've seen the way she looks at you." He said.

"I only want to get to know her. I like her very much." Reid said defensively.

How had he ended up in an interrogation with a substitute grandfather of a girl he hardly knew, but cared deeply about just the same?

"I can see that by the way you keep looking at the door. May I tell you something about my wife?" Lloyd asked gently.

Reid nodded slowly because the old man had something important to say he could see it in his sky blue eyes.

"We were dating and I did something really stupid. It's a long story so I won't go into the details, but she was furious with me. My mother gave me some very good advice. She told me to give Sarah her space until she was ready to talk. Then I should apologize and grovel for as long as it took to win her back. My mother was the wisest woman I ever knew except for my wife."

"How long were you married sir?" Reid asked because his brain was still chewing over leaving Kira alone and the need to make sure she was safe until they caught their killer.

"Fifty six years. I miss her every day. Her death tore a part of me away that I'll never get back until it's my time to meet her on the other side."

"I think I understand." Reid said. He picked up his coffee and sipped at the cooling liquid.

"Good because that girl is special. Make sure you make things right with her."

"Yes sir…" He ate some of the muffin because his stomach no longer felt tied up in nervous knots.

"Now… I have a doctor's appointment to get to."

Lloyd used his cane to climb to his feet. He limped to Reid and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "If Kira likes you, then you must be a good man. Take care."

With that, he left Reid there with his muffin in crumbles and a lot to think about.

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Reid found the rest of the team in the conference room. He glanced up at the clock seeing that he'd walked in ten minutes late, but he decided not to draw attention to that fact. As it turned out, he didn't need to worry about his lateness. Hotch scowled at him as he came in.

"What happened to you last night?"

He noticed that everyone including a very happy Morgan stared at him. "Yeah kid… You ran out after Kira. Hotch said he told you we were done for the day, but you never checked in. Did she tell you anything else?

"If you're talking about the phone calls, I didn't grill her about it." He snapped at them. "She was completely overwhelmed yesterday. It's not like you guys are easy to talk to."

"We don't have time to baby her." Rossi said.

"Don't you think I know that? I stood over his latest victim. Do you think I want to see Kira like that?" His voice was rising but he couldn't seem to calm down.

_Don't worry what they think. It's about time you stood up to them._

"Reid," Hotch snapped. "I need everyone focused on this case and that includes you."

"I am focusing on the case. Look," He took his seat next to Emily, "If you all must know, I took Kira out for dinner last night. We had an argument. It didn't end well. This morning I ran into someone that gave me good advice about her, which I intend to follow to the letter. She didn't tell me anything useful about the case or at least more than we already know. No one is following her, or sending her gifts. As for the phone calls, they've stopped, right Garcia?"

She glanced up in surprise from her laptop. "I've been keeping an eye on her phone - which is off, by the way - and nothing so far in the last twelve hours."

"I thought she knew we were tracing the line." Rossi said. "Didn't you tell her to keep her phone turned on?"

JJ began to laugh, "So you really think that Reid would tell a girl what to do."

Morgan guffawed and Penelope giggled over her computer. "Alright, that's enough." Hotch said loudly over the uproar.

"Hotch is right," Emily said over her laughter. "We have four dead women and no clues."

"We have the name of the latest victim." Garcia said. "Anna Horton. She's twenty-one years old and a student at the University of Virginia just like the others. She was majoring in business. She didn't have any family. Her mother died of breast cancer when Anna was ten. Her father died last year in a botched mugging."

"So all of these women had some kind of major trauma in their lives." Emily said.

"Do you think the killer knows this about them? He picks them knowing that they have been cowed by the events in their lives that hurt them." Reid said.

"If so he's a hell of a profiler." Rossi said. "Or he knows all of them, has taken them into his confidence somehow so that he knows he can get to them whenever he wants."

"We know he removes all trace of himself from them before he dumps the bodies." Reid said after a minute of silence from all of them. "He did the same with Ms Horton." He directed his question to Garcia.

She nodded. "The only trace on her body was the mud and insects from the dump site. She was raped multiple times, but the medical examiner didn't find any semen."

"So what's our next move?" Detective Saunders asked from her position on the other side of Morgan.

"I think I might have something." Garcia said. "I've been searching for a connection for the victims because you guys always say why this victim."

Hotch nodded for her to continue. "I decided to write a program to shuffle through club memberships and mail order lists. It took my babies much longer than I thought it would but they found something."

"Way to go baby girl." Morgan enthused.

"You should know better than to doubt me my fine furry friends. I discovered the all the victims and Kira are members of the same exercise club."

"Morgan, you and Prentiss go to the club. You can pretend to be looking for a new place to work out and ask around. If you can, talk to the manager, but do it discreetly. If the un-sub is someone like a trainer, we don't want to scare them off."

"You got it." Morgan said getting up from his chair. "Come on Prentiss, let's go workout."

"Great," she moaned, "just what I wanted to do at nine on a Friday morning."

"Reid, go find Kira. Do whatever you need to do to get her to cooperate. We need to know if she remembers seeing the victims at the club or if anyone there has paid her any particular attention."

"But Hotch she -"

"I wish I had time to let you two work this out but I don't. We need more information before another woman goes missing." Hotch snapped.

Reid reluctantly left his chair as Rossi passed him going to the door. "Tell her you're sorry and beg for forgiveness." He advised.

Reid stopped at the doorway and stared in amazement at the older agent. "You've been married three times."

"Yes… I never learned my lesson. So do what I should've done." He clapped Reid on the back and pushed him out of the room.


	16. Understanding

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Understanding_**

The hallway outside her Creative Writing class teamed with people. She struggled to put away a flash drive containing her notes and latest assignment and keep her eyes on where she walked. Unfortunately, her ability to walk and chew gum at the same time had gone out the window since last night. She'd already burned her forehead with her curling iron, and dropped a glass after taking it out of the washer that morning. Fortunately the glass hadn't broken.

She looked up from her bag in time to see the last person in the world she wanted to see at that moment. She stopped dead in her tracks, which meant that the girl behind her ran right into her.

"Watch where you're going bitch," The girl said as Kira's bag fell off her shoulder and plopped to the floor in the middle of the crowd.

A long fingered hand reached down and grabbed it up from the floor. His eyes found hers as he straightened up with her bag. She couldn't move as other people parted around her. She didn't hear the comments and the cussing because she didn't move.

"Kira…"

His voice reminded her of honey dropping slowly over a slice of toasted whole wheat bread.

It snapped her out of playing statue. She pulled the bag from his hands with a small, "Thank you," and hurried away in the opposite direction or her intended destination, the bus stop.

"Kira, please wait," he shouted over the noise of the students.

Something in his voice pulled at her, begging her to listen to him. Fear curled up in her stomach and made its home there. She should run away far and fast. She'd never see him after his case ended anyway so it was just best that she make it clear to him to leave her alone.

She didn't count on his longer legs catching up with her as she stepped out the double glass doors at the north end of the building.

"Kira, I need to talk to you. It's very important."

He sounded so unhappy it pierced her heart like an arrow from a bow. Shouldn't she give him a chance to explain? Her mother always told her that everyone deserved a second chance.

"What do you want?" She responded much more harshly than she had intended.

"We think we found a connection to all the victims and it has to do with you." He said as they stood at the top of a flight of concrete stairs.

"Oh…" She'd messed it up and misunderstood again.

He only wanted to talk to her about the case. She'd made it clear that she didn't want anything to do with him and he obviously had the message. The problem was that she couldn't stop thinking about him even if he did have a mental disorder. Well it was too late now.

"You belong to a gym downtown, right?"

It was the last thing she expected him to ask. Her curiosity got the better of her, despite the pain in her heart.

She led him over to a concrete bench to the left of the staircase in the bright sunlight. "I haven't gone for a few days because I just haven't felt up to it." She said very fast feeling like she had to excuse herself.

"All the victims had memberships there." He told her.

"They did?"

She twisted a piece of her hair around her right pointer finger. She'd never noticed anyone that looked like her.

"I never saw any of them," She said before he could ask her.

"Are you sure?" Reid asked gently.

His tie flapped in the wind that came up suddenly around the corner of the building. It made him look like a small child for some reason. A child that looked like he'd lost his best friend.

"I don't remember seeing them there. If they were, we went at different times. I just go to use the treadmill and the stationary bike. I don't really like the classes except for the water aerobics. I should go back."

She tugged her red polo shirt over her belly and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Kira, I have to ask." Reid said reluctantly. "Has anyone approached you there? Have you noticed anyone watching you or -"

She froze as she thought about _him_. She should tell Reid, but she decided not to because it was probably all her fault what he'd done anyway.

"No Spencer, men don't notice me. Haven't you figured it out already?" She practically yelled, causing a couple of handsome brawny guys coming out of the building to laugh as they passed her.

"I'm sorry Kira… I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I really need to know if anyone has paid you the kind of attention that makes you uncomfortable.

She glared at him, "No, just you."

"I had that coming I guess," he said sorrowfully.

Her stomach clenched as she stared back at him. He was supposed to get angry and leave, not agree with her.

"I'm sorry…"

"You're not the one that should be apologizing." He pulled off his sunglasses and his eyes cut her heart to the core. "You don't even know me and I dump something on you that I can't trust to tell my team."

She found her hand seemed to have a mind of its own because it reached out and touched his face. He didn't flinch away from her this time. "I'm so sorry you've had to go through that alone."

He smiled a tiny little sad smile that didn't touch his beautiful eyes. "It's almost funny. I work with people trained to spot mental illness and they haven't figured it out. I wish I could confide in them because they're like my family, but I'd lose my job. I really love what I do. I have to help people. It's who I am." He shrugged.

She let her hand drop to his arm. "I do understand. It's hard sometimes to confide in your friends, even if you know they'd understand. I'm sorry I ran away. I was scared."

Her lower lip began to tremble and tears overflowed her eyes. He wiped one of them away with his thumb making her shiver. "Don't apologize." He insisted. "I didn't handle it very well."

"You handled it fine. It was just scary." She said honestly. "I still don't know what to think but I want to try and figure it out if that's okay."

He squeezed her hand tight. "It's completely okay."

"Do you think we could go get something to eat?"

"Sure as long as we actually get to finish the meal this time." He teased.

Kira smacked him lightly on his shoulder. "I don't think that'll be a problem. There's a little place right off campus that I go to sometimes."

"Well then lead the way." He said clasping her hand

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Kira swirled a French fry through the small pile of ketchup on her plate. "So how did you find me?" She asked Reid who was dunking his Philly Cheese steak sandwich in his cup of au jus.

"I'm working on another degree." He said taking a large bite of the sandwich. "I take classes here sometimes and other times I take online classes when I get too busy with work. I especially like the abnormal psych classes. They're very informative."

Kira simply stared at him. She said after a minute. "Just how many degrees do you have?"

He swallowed audibly. "If you count my Bachelors, Masters and PhDs, it's eleven all together." He admitted going a bit pink in the cheeks.

"You go to school and work full time or I guess I should say more than full time as a profiler." Her voice went up at the end of the sentence. "When do you have time for fun?"

"I don't get out very much."

She popped the rest of her double cheeseburger in her mouth and looked around the busy little café. There was just enough noise that they could have a conversation without everyone listening in.

"Spencer?" She asked after swallowing her mouthful of burger.

He looked up from his coleslaw. "What?"

"Can I ask you a question about Ian?"

Reid choked and went white. "What kind of question?" He managed to gasp out.

"Well… What's he like? Is he nice or mean?"

Reid stared at her in surprise. His face resembled a man who'd attempted to swallow a fish whole.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to know more about him because…" She flinched at the change in the set of his mouth.

"You're afraid." He said quietly.

"Yes… I'm afraid. I can't help it." Icy cold tickled her spine with little spider fingers.

"I don't mean to make light of your fear. I've never talked about Ian with anyone."

"Oh…"

She looked down at the remains of her lunch so he wouldn't see her nerves in her eyes. Suddenly she felt more scared then she ever had in her life.

"Ian's a real ladies man." Spencer said very quietly. "He likes to wear fancy clothes. He's always trying to get me to buy a speedy new car. He thinks he's a James Bond type. Once, he took over and bought this expensive new sports car. He wasn't happy when I took it back the next day. Still, he hasn't tried it again because he knows I'll just take it back."

Kira picked up another French fry. She grabbed the ketchup and squirted a bit more on her plate. "He doesn't sound like he's too bad, just annoying."

Reid had gone back to his coleslaw. He chewed thoughtfully for a minute. "He likes to sleep around." He decided to say truthfully.

Kira almost dropped her glass of cream soda. "He does?" She squeaked sounding a lot like Reid when stressed.

"Yeah… It can get awkward because sometimes I wake up in strange places with strange women I don't like."

"So…" She cleared her throat and took a large sip from her drink to get her thoughts together. "Um… well, I don't, um I -"

"You want to know if I like the sex." Reid said frankly.

They both went beet red and studied the blue and white checkered table clothes that covered the small diner's table. Kira couldn't think of anything to say for a very long time that wouldn't make her sound stupid.

"Do you?" She finally managed to choke out.

She peeked up at his face. He looked thoughtful instead of angry as she'd expected when he looked up from the tablecloth.

He opened his mouth then shut it again. There was something in his eyes for a short second that frightened her, and then they went soft and kind again. "I don't remember any of his trysts. When another personality takes over, they submerge the primary. Although Ian is aware some of the time, I'm never aware when he comes out. I don't know why."

Something made him stay silent about the night before, as it wasn't the time or the place to get into that little problem.

She watched his eyes and that same wariness came into them. She decided not to worry about it. It was hard enough accepting this from him without worrying if he were honest. "I understand." She decided to say.

"I want you to tell me if he comes out in front of you and I don't know it." Reid suddenly said. "Please promise me that no matter what he says to you, it's not me. Can you do that?"

His beautiful eyes pleaded with her to do as he said. She couldn't say no, even though his tone scared her to death. Ian sounded like all the guys in school that ignored her. How would she deal with him?

"I promise," she said her voice shaking slightly.

He didn't reply. They sat in silence finishing their meals and ignoring the server when she asked if they wanted dessert. All she could think about was dealing with a personality that was a ladies' man. Those kinds of men ignored her or they were mean. As she thought hard about what to do a memory surfaced in her head that she'd tried to suppress for the last six months. If Spencer could trust her, then she should trust him with one of the worst moments in her life.

"Spencer… I lied to you. There was this guy at the club. He scared me and I had to complain to the manager. It's why I don't go as often as I should to take off a few pounds. I just don't want to see him."

"Tell me about him." Reid said.


	17. Secret

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Secret_**

Kira sipped nervously at the last of her drink. The straw sucked nosily at the bottom of the plastic glass so she had to push it aside. Spencer didn't prompt her or ask any more questions for which she was very grateful. It was going to sound as laughable as it had to the manager of the club.

"I used to go there kind of off and on, not as much as I should. I make all kinds of excuses. I'm too tired or have too much to do at home. Even thought I paid for the membership I still didn't go as regularly as I should. I didn't want to be seen with the beautiful women and their washboard abs.

"I understand more than you think." Reid said reaching for her hand. "You've seen Morgan right."

"He's the really big good looking one with the bald head." She said with a sly smile.

"Yeah… He never spends a weekend alone if you know what I mean."

"I think I do," She began playing with the straw in her water glass, dipping it up and down with her forefinger covering one end so the water stayed in the straw when she pulled it out of the glass.

"He gets a lot of attention from the female agents and female LEOs."

"What's an LEO?"

"Sorry, it means law enforcement officer." He rubbed his free hand at his chin and sighed.

"Oh… Well I don't like guys like Morgan, all pumped up sides of beef. I like hair for one thing." She teased.

He went pink in the cheeks. "It gets a little long sometimes because I forget to cut it."

"I think it looks good the way it is." She matched the pink in his cheeks with her cheeks. "I like quirky looking guys."

He squeezed her hand. "What did a guy looking like Morgan do to you?"

"He asked me out." The hand he held began to tremble. "He was really nice and charming. We met at the gym and I couldn't believe that he'd like me."

"What did he do to you?"

She hung her head as tears welled up in her eyes. "We went to dinner and a movie. He was so nice that I let him in when he took me home. He tried… He said that a girl like me couldn't say no. He said that guys don't like women like me unless we put out because…" She began to sob wildly.

"Let's get out of here." He pulled her out of the booth leaving a few bills on the table for their waitress as they left.

She'd calmed down by the time he drove her to her apartment. He parked the car, but he didn't move to get out. "You know what he said isn't true." He stroked her arm with his fingertip. "You _are_ beautiful."

Tears began streaming down her face again. "Y-you d-don't have to s-say that," She sobbed in a trembling tone. "I k-know -"

"You _are_ beautiful." He repeated as he reached over and put his hand under her chin.

He reached up and took off her glasses. His thumb wiped away the tears under her eyes. "You have the most beautiful and kindest eyes I've ever seen."

"I t-told him I'd c-call the police. H-he left when I s-said that, but every time I'd go to the g-gym he'd be there and he'd say things. Nothing that I could really use against him, which is what, the manager said. I complained, but he said he couldn't kick out a paying c-customer. I know it's because of what I look like. If I'd been one of those slinky girls he would've done something."

She became more angry as the story when on. Her voice lost its trembling quality as she spoke. "That was about six months ago. If I go to the club, I try to go early in the morning when they open so I don't have to see him. I haven't seen him in a couple of months and he mostly leaves me alone when I do.

"Why didn't you call the police that night?" Reid asked as she put her glasses back on.

"The police would laugh at me. They'd think I was hysterical. They wouldn't believe that someone like him would do something like that to someone like me."

"That's not true. No woman deserves that kind of treatment no matter what she looks like." Reid insisted.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed. "You must think I'm a real idiot."

"I don't think that at all." He took her hand. "I think you're just a sweet lonely girl that no one understands."

"I'll bet other girls would call the police."

"Actually eighty percent of all rapes and attempted rapes go unreported to the police. Most women blame themselves; they think they did something to invite the assault."

"Really?" She pulled a Kleenex from her purse and wiped her nose and eyes.

"Yes… Rape is all about control, not about sex." He informed her. "In fact there are different classifications of rapists. The first is a power reassurance rapist who will sometimes ask their victims if they liked it. The anger excitation rapist is the kind of man that will beat up or kill the victim after or during the rape. They can't maintain an erection without forcing a woman or even killing them. It's the power over life and death that gets them off."

He stopped talking when he realized that Kira was staring at him as if he'd grown a third eye in the middle of his forehead.

"I'm sorry… I tend to ramble when I'm nervous."

"You really do have a very strange job." She said, smiling wide.

"I guess I do. I hate to ask, but do you remember the name of the man that tried to hurt you."

She looked down at her hands. "His name is Greg McGuire."

Reid pulled out his phone the same time it rang. "Reid." He answered.

Kira watched him talk for a few minutes. His face got very happy by the end of the conversation. He snapped the phone shut and grinned at her.

"That was Morgan… He said they got the manager of the club to give up Greg's name."

"How did they do that? He didn't want to help me at all." She asked in total surprise.

"People tend to help when you threaten them with Federal trouble." Reid said smugly.

Kira laughed. "I'll bet you guys really like to use that threat." She teased.

Reid smiled like the Cheshire cat in Wonderland. "Yeah… It's kind of fun sometimes."

"I'll bet it is."

"Look, I need to get back to Quantico fast. They're bringing McGuire in for questioning. Hotch wants me to be there and watch this guy's body language."

"How will that help?" Kira asked as she opened her door.

"I can tell them if he's lying or leaving anything out of his story. I'm an expert on body language."

"I'll have to remember that. Have fun." She got out of the car and was about to shut the door when Reid stopped her.

"I'll call you when it's over."

"Alright… I'll be waiting."

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Reid hurried through the double glass doors leading into the bullpen. JJ was there waiting for him. "You're late." She scolded him.

"Sorry, I was talking to Kira."

"You're spending a lot of time with her." JJ said giving him a bright smile. "You like her don't you."

"I can't talk about this now JJ." He said as he dropped his messenger bag on his desk and turned back for the interrogation room at the other end of the floor.

"I'm going your way," JJ, reminded him as she hurried to keep up with his long stride.

"I was talking to her about the case." He said testily.

"You don't fool me Spence. I can see how uplifted you are. You like her." JJ elbowed him in his side as they walked.

"I'm trying to be professional." Reid insisted. "It's wrong to date witness."

"You just keep talking out of the other side of your mouth." JJ said as he held open another set of doors for her. "I don't think you care at all about the rules."

"JJ…"

"Come on… They're in Room 1. Hotch wants you to talk to Mr. McGuire."

"I can't do that," Reid squeaked. "Kira told me -"

"Get in there." JJ pushed him toward the door. "Hotch will have your hide." She hissed.

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Greg McGuire looked exactly like Morgan except for skin color and he had a head of light blond hair. Physically they could have been twins.

"Mr. McGuire." Reid said taking his seat across the table.

"I didn't realize FBI agents were so scrawny," McGuire said.

Reid opened his case files and took out the crime scene photo of all five murders. "Mr. McGuire please tell me where you were on September second of last year."

"How the hell would I remember where I was a year ago?"

"You better remember because Gwen Ockley is dead. She was found in March of this year." He slid the photograph over to him.

McGuire went white. "I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't kill anyone."

"What about Shelby Hanford, Victoria Schaffer, Marianna Bently, or Anna Horton?" Reid threw down more pictures.

"I've never seen any of those women in my life."

"I know you've seen Kira Reynolds." Reid said casually "Why don't you tell me about her.

"I don't know her." McGuire insisted, but Reid noticed how he shifted and pushed away from the table.

"You're lying to me. You _do_ know who she is. She told me all about the way you tried to rape her six months ago."

Greg leaned back in toward Reid. "I never touched that bitch. She made up the whole thing. I took her out for dinner and she tried to come on to me. I wouldn't go for it so she made up stories that nearly got me kicked out of my exercise club."

Reid sat back and laughed at the man. "You're telling me that a big strong guy like you that probably has women falling all over him refused the advances of a girl in her apartment. I find that difficult to believe."

"All I did was try to give that fat little girl what she wanted. You know what I mean?" He waggled his eyebrows at Reid.

"No…" Reid maintained his casual posture by sheer force of will. "I don't know what you mean. Why don't you explain it to me?"

Greg relaxed in his chair. "I just mean that girls like Kira can't be choosy."

"Oh you mean that because she doesn't conform to societal norms of what is beautiful, she should just take what she can get." Reid said, his voice beginning to rise."

"Yeah… I could've rocked her world and she said no. To me! I couldn't let that pass." Greg insisted angrily.

Reid jumped out of his chair and stormed around the table. Greg reared back in surprise nearly falling out of his chair. "You make me sick." Reid hissed getting right down in his face. "Your out of control ego rules your life. You spend five days at the gym to maintain your body builder physique, hoping that no one will notice that you have no intelligence."

"Shut up you skinny little _freak_." Greg hissed pushing back into Reid's face.

"You don't scare me Mr. McGuire. I'll bet you like to scare women half your size." Reid taunted. "Is that what gets you off?"

"Believe what you want. I never touched her and I certainly didn't kill anyone. I want a lawyer. I'm not saying another word until I get one." He sat up and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine… I'm sure your counsel will be arriving in a few hours. Make yourself at home." Reid spat.

He left the room fast because the urge to deck McGuire was too tempting.

Hotch, Rossi, Emily and Morgan came out of the observation area. Hotch's glower was even deeper than usual when he addressed Reid. "I want to talk to you in my office, right now." He ordered.


	18. Perplexing

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Perplexing_**

"What do you think you're doing?" Hotch lashed out at Reid as soon as they reached the inside of his office.

"I was doing my job." Reid insisted, staying on his feet instead of sitting down. "Now we know this guy isn't our guy. He doesn't fit the profile."

"I know he's not the one Reid. He's a punk and a womanizer, but not a killer. I want to know why you went in there with information the rest of the team didn't know about before you talked to him." Hotch stayed on his feet too standing just feet from Reid.

"I'm sorry Hotch… I spoke with Kira this morning. She told me she met McGuire at the exercise club. He asked her out. She went out with him because guys like him never pay attention to her. He was nice to her until she let him into her apartment. He tried to force her Hotch. He only left when she threatened him with the police. She complained to the management of the club when McGuire wouldn't leave her alone afterwards. The manager didn't do anything about the complaint. Kira believes he blew her off because she's not a skinny, toned up athletic woman."

Hotch stood with his legs apart and his arms crossed over his chest while he listened to Reid. "We've been through this before Reid. You relate to Ms Reynolds and it's beginning to cloud your judgment."

"JJ grabbed me as soon as I got here." Reid shot back feeling some annoyance at this treatment. "I told her I needed to speak with you first, but she said you wanted me in there now. What did you expect me to do?"

Hotch just stood there, his jaw flexing for a minute. "Alright… I pushed you in there without out asking you what you'd found out from Kira. I apologize. I should've taken the time to speak with you."

Reid found his shoulders relaxing at the sincere apology in Hotch's tone. "I should've come talked to you first no matter the urgency."

I need you to maintain your objectivity, if you can't Reid, I'll put you on something else. Don't make me do it. I _need_ you on this."

"It won't happen again Hotch." Reid apologized.

"I seem to recall hearing that before Reid." Hotch let his arms fall to his sides and his stance relaxed a little.

"Yes sir… I'm sorry I lost my temper in there. I hate dealing with guys like him. He treated Kira like a plaything. I can't stop thinking about those women. McGuire may not be the man we are looking for but you know he has some of the same personality traits as the un-sub. What if the un-sub has targeted Kira next? It would be her worst nightmare come true, only this time threats to call the police won't stop him."

Hotch stepped forward to clasp Reid's arm. "I know you care for her, but you have to maintain a distance so you can do your job. You'll help her more if you step back and take another look with an objective eye."

Reid finally let his hands relax. His thumping heart rate began to slow down too. "I am sorry Hotch. I just couldn't let him talk about her like that."

"You're a kind and gentle man Reid, you couldn't treat a woman like McGuire. I'm very glad for that." Hotch said his eyes back to their usual glower which made Reid smile.

"I'm glad too." Reid agreed.

"Now… We've hit another dead end. I think it's time for you to go back to your geographic profile. He's working only around the university. We need to know why so we can get ahead of him."

"Alright… I'll go back to work." Reid agreed.

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Reid stared at the map he'd pinned up on the white board in the conference room. He marked the location of the exercise club "Body Works." The club was located in another strip mall on Cherry Ave. It stood outside the pattern of disappearances at the university.

All of the victims had lived in the student residences except for the first one. Gwen Ockley. She'd lived in her own apartment on Shamrock Road about five miles from the campus. She had her own car, which was found in one of the numerous parking lots at the school.

The other four victims had lived in Piedmont Housing, and McCormack Residence Halls. The pushpins he used to mark the locations didn't fit a pattern except that the girls were all students there. Kira lived in her own apartment on 14th street, which was as far out of the killers comfort zone as was possible. What made her different from all the others? He wondered frantically.

"Hey Reid," Emily said from the doorway.

He jumped, his famous concentration shot to hell at that moment, "Hi Emily."

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be," He responded sharply. "I have a geographical profile that doesn't make sense. It's like this guy's comfort zone is the school because all of the students went there, but look." He slapped the map with his right hand. "The victims lived all over the place. "Kira lives the farthest from the center which means that he might be getting more comfortable in a larger area."

Emily stepped into the room with deliberate steps ignoring his brusque tone that was so unlike him. "It could also mean that he's running out of his victim pool. There are only so many women at the university that fit his physical type."

Reid nodded distractedly. 'The problem is that there are so many people affiliated with UVA on a daily basis. The teaching staff, administration, grounds keepers, security, etc, etc, etc."

"Has Garcia come up with any possibilities?" Reid asked desperately.

"Yes… but neither of them turned out to fit the profile and one had an air tight alibi for the first murder. He was in the hospital getting radiation treatments for colon cancer. He relapsed three months ago."

Reid nodded wanting, for the first time, to put his fist through something like Morgan.

"Reid… I know you're busy, but I just wanted to know if you're okay with Kira and that jackass in interrogation."

"Hotch read me the riot act." Reid half leaned, half sat on the edge of the round table. "She took me into her confidence about that guy. When she was telling me about what he tried to do to her, I knew I'd have to use it. What kind of man am I if I can't be trusted?"

"You did what you had to do to confirm or eliminate this guy." Emily positioned herself next to Reid. "I'm sure Kira would understand that."

"She's been hurt so many times in her life. I know what that's like Emily."

She studied his sad eyes for a minute while collecting her thoughts. "One of the reasons you're so good at this job is because you have amazing compassion and the ability to empathize with people, even the un-subs."

Reid shrugged his shoulders. "I can't help it. There's always more to the story."

"I like that you have those gifts. I get concerned sometimes that you'll drown in your compassion for people."

"We'll all burn out sooner or later," He reminded her as he glanced over at his map.

"You're going to burn out faster than all of us if you don't learn to stop taking everything so personally."

He turned to look at her. "I can't help it."

She smiled sadly. "You wouldn't be Reid if you could. It's after 1 pm." She pushed off from the table. "You've been in here for two hours staring at that board. Why don't you take a break?"

"You're right…" He agreed. "I have something I need to do."

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Kira swore under her breath when her cell phone rang. She hit the save button on her computer and looked at the caller ID. All annoyance went out the window at the name displayed.

"Hi Spencer," she said happily. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" She teased.

"_I've sort of hit a road block." _He said glumly.

"Can I help?"

"_Yeah… I was hoping you and I could spend some time together." _

Her heart sank a little because she did have plans that she couldn't break. "Um… I have an appointment at four-thirty that I can't break."

"_Oh, well maybe I'll call you again later." _

He sounded so sad and tired. "I can call Dr. Mount joy and reschedule. It's not that important."

"_Who's Dr. Mount joy?"_

Her cheeks got hot. She hadn't intended to tell him about the doctor just yet.

"Um… He's a therapist I've been seeing for a little while. I was having trouble coping with my parents' death, school and other stuff." She crossed her fingers that he wouldn't hang up the phone and she'd never hear from him again.

"_Why didn't you tell me?" _He said in a soft, non-judgmental way.

"I was afraid you'd think I was nuts or something."

"_You know I don't," _He said lightly. _"I have my own problems remember." _

"Yeah… I'm sorry Spencer… Will you forgive me?"

"_Of course I will. I'll pick you up at five thirty then. What's the address?" _

She gave him the address of the outpatient psychiatry building at UVA. "His office is on the first floor."

"_I'll see after your appointment." _

"I'll be waiting."

She closed the phone and went back to her writing project. Her writers' block had dissolved, and she wanted to take full advantage of it before she had to stop for her appointment.

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Reid headed back to his desk walking slowly while his mind worried over something elusive. He felt like a hint about the case was right in front of his face but he just couldn't figure it out.

_So the genius has his limits after all. Who would've guessed?_

_I don't have time for this Ian._

_Maybe if you listened to me once in awhile you might learn something._

_I doubt that… What do you know that's so important?_

_I know you look like a sentimental fool pining over Kira the way you do. She's boring and you ruined a completely acceptable substitute for us last night. _

_I like Kira. I won't sleep with some random stranger just to make you happy. _

_I'm trying to make us both happy. _

_No, you don't like romantic entanglements. You don't get that relationships can be fulfilling. _

_You mean like our relationship._

_Go away!_

_I'll go away, but you can't keep me under forever, smart guy._

"Reid," Hotch motioned to him, breaking him out of his internal dialogue. "We have another body."

His heart sank into his shoes. Now they had another dead woman and he was no closer to figuring out what was bugging him then he had been when he'd got out of bed that morning.

"I have to make a quick call." He started to say.

"Not know Reid, we need to get on this right away. He's escalating fast." Hotch said, his glower firmly back in place and deeper than Reid had seen it since the Reaper.

Reid grabbed his bag ignoring Morgan's questioning look. He'd have to find a way to call Kira before five thirty so she knew to find another way home.


	19. Connection

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Connection_**

Reid climbed into the back of the SUV. He felt the need to wash his hands, his face, and his entire body from head to toe. In fact a long hot shower sounded really good right then. Unfortunately, he had more work to do. They all had more work now that their un-sub had killed again.

"I'm getting really tired of hiking out into the woods looking at dead bodies." Emily said.

"You remembered your flat shoes." Reid said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't make up for the smell, the bugs and the mud." She griped.

"I'm surprised that we have another victim this soon." Reid said as the SUV began to move back down the muddy rutted road.

"He's might be starting to de-evolve." Morgan replied. "The fantasy of reliving the kills might not be enough for him anymore."

"Or, he thinks we're getting too close and he's trying to distract us." Emily said pursing her lips together.

"We need to go back and look at anyone close to the case. He's tried to insert himself into the investigation." Rossi said from the seat in front of Reid.

"There's something different about this victim." Hotch said from the front passenger seat.

"What do you mean?" Detective Saunders asked from her seat behind the wheel.

"It was something to do with her skin. I've seen it before," he said thoughtfully.

"The ME said the same thing." The detective mused. "He said he'd have to examine her to be sure, but it looked like she'd spent time in a very cold place."

"Speculation doesn't help. We need to wait for the ME." Hotch said.

"He left her purse and ID with the body this time." Morgan added. "He's never done that before. He wants us to know who she is, fast."

Hotch frowned at Morgan in the rearview mirror. "I know… It could be that he knew her and he's trying to throw us off."

Reid looked out the window as his mind raced ahead. Their latest victim wasn't a student. She fit the physical look, but Garcia had already discovered that Piper Anderton had been missing for over a year. She was ten years older then the students.

"She was his first victim instead of Gwen Ockley." JJ added.

"This fits with the theory that he knew her. We need to know everything we can about her life."

Reid went over the map of UVA in his head. She didn't fit the geographic profile, which confused him even more. It was probably what the killer wanted. Ms. Anderton had lived in Alexandria, which were miles from the other girls. What made her so different?

He looked at his watch. It was already after two in the afternoon. Time seemed to be rushing by so fast. At this rate, he wouldn't be able to pick up Kira after her appointment.

_You're not her keeper… She got around just fine before she met you. Let it go._

_We're making progress. You haven't insulted her in the last hour. _

_Did you just try to make a joke Spencer?_

_Not now, all my team is here._

Ian actually listened and resided back into Spencer's mind. Perhaps his control over him was getting stronger. Maybe he could look forward to the day when he wouldn't hear him in his mind any more.

He pulled out his phone, and then stuck it back in his pocket. He didn't want to talk to her in front of the team. He'd been gaining confidence, but not that much. He sat back and watched other cars rush by instead. If only something emerged that was the ultimate key to this mystery.

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"I called you in here because I confirmed a suspicion." The ME said to Reid and Hotch as they entered the morgue an hour and a half later. "She's been dead for at least a year. Someone kept her frozen then thawed the body just before moving it to the woods."

He motioned them over to his microscope and the heart tissue he'd mounted on a slide. "See the spaces between the cells? She's been frozen then unthawed."

"So he knew her." Reid said looking at Hotch.

Hotch nodded studying the dried out skin and brittle hair of the corpse's face. "It's the only reason for him to keep her from being found until he wanted it to happen. He knew her."

"He already has his last victim." Reid theorized.

"Yes… He's found the one he thinks will finally fulfill his ultimate fantasy. He's going to disappear with her if we don't find him first."

"I've got samples from scrapings under her nails." The ME said. "I took swabs too. Maybe if she was his first he didn't clean her up like the rest."

"Let me know when you know," Hotch said.

"Will do."

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Reid looked at his watch as they rode the elevator up to the sixth floor. It was just after five. He needed to call Kira and at least leave her a message.

Unfortunately, Garcia accosted them the minute they walked in the door. "I found the connection I think." She said, excited.

Her red hair sprang out of the top of her head tied up in a red clip. It bobbed as her head shook with excitement. "The latest victim worked for a doctor at the Psychiatric Center at UVA."

"That's great baby girl," Morgan said as they hurried into the conference room. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'll forgive your teasing because you are just a profiler." She shot back at him. "I also found charges to three of the victims' credit cards for her employer, a Dr. Mount joy. I've been checking into-

"Hotch…" Reid interrupted Garcia, ignoring the look she gave him for this unprecedented rudeness. "Dr. Mount joy is Kira's doctor. She's been seeing him for a few months because of her parents' death and other problems." He stood up. "We have to go. She's with him right now!"

The others stirred into action. "Garcia, check his back records, phone records, everything you can find. If we can't find him at his office, then we'll need his home address."

"I'll find out who his first grade teacher was if it will help." She promised them as they headed out.

Hotch called Detective Saunders, because she was between them and the center at the university. She agreed to call in SWAT but keep it low key unless they needed the help.

"Let's go." Hotch said. "Reid, I have something I need you to do. We'll talk about it in the car."

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Kira boarded the bus with nervous knots in her stomach. She was so excited to see Spencer after her appointment. They had lots to talk about, but she was sure that he had something very important to tell her, thus, the nervous knots in her stomach.

The ride to the doctor's office ended faster than she hoped. Just when she wanted the time to slow, so she could catch her breath and process all she'd learned, it now moved as fast as the beating of hummingbird wings.

All too soon, the bus let her off half a block from her destination. She had her I pod on hoping that her favorite music might take the edge off her nerves. Dr. Mount joy would see her distress if she didn't calm down. He'd want to know all about it and she just couldn't tell him. It would be a betrayal of Spencer.

The doctor's nurse, Kami, wasn't at her desk when she entered the outer room of the office. Kira looked around the dark wood paneled room with its upholstered metal chairs and glass tables.

"Kami," She called out uncertainly into the quiet room.

No one answered her call. Maybe she'd got the day wrong. She pulled out her little appointment notebook from her bag and double-checked. Yeah… It was today at four thirty. Kami must be out on a break.

Kira went to the sign in sheet and wrote her name down out of habit. If Kami didn't come back, she'd go back to the doctor's office and knock on the door. She decided to jot down some ideas for her next writing project while she waited. Writing always calmed her nerves.

She looked at her watch ten minutes later. Kami still hadn't come back into the waiting area. She looked up and then back at her watch again. She started to get out of her chair, but then she sat back again. It was rude to knock on the doctor's door. He might be running late with another patient. She'd wait another ten minutes…

The ten minutes passed very slowly. Her stomach knotted up again because something didn't feel right. She'd never come into the office without Kami sitting at the desk, answering the phone or talking to patients. She didn't hear the phone or the copy machine. It was as if everyone on the face of the earth had died.

She stood up and shuffled from one foot to the other. "Make a decision for once in your life." She muttered to herself.

Spencer wouldn't let this situation get the best of him. He'd find the nurse or go knock on the doctor's door. He wouldn't let an empty reception area stop him. Her reason for being here was to learn to let go of her insecurities, so she could live her life, instead of hiding away.

Spencer's face filled her mind. He was smiling at her. His beautiful eyes seemed to say to her that little things overcome added up to big victories. She put away her notebook and pen in her bag. Fifteen minutes had passed since she'd walked in the door. No one had come out of the doctor's office, so she decided to go to his office.

She'd taken four steps down the hallway when the door to Dr. Mount joy's office opened. "Kira… I'm sorry I'm late. I gave Kami the afternoon off. She's been working so hard lately. I thought she deserved some time off."

"It's okay… I was thinking maybe I got the wrong day."

He smiled widely at her. "No, you didn't get the wrong day. Come inside."


	20. Unmasked

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Unmasked_**

"I don't like it." Morgan inserted into Reid and Hotch's conversation as the truck pulled away from Quantico.

"I'll be okay Morgan," Reid said, impatient with Morgan's overprotection. "I'm not going to be alone. I'll have plenty of backup."

"Hotch…"

"Morgan, Reid is an agent just like you and I. He had to go through the same training and pass the same physical qualifications we all did." Hotch said as though he'd explained the facts of life to Morgan a thousand times.

Morgan ground his teeth together, scowling at Hotch in the rearview as they headed down the road. "He's not a door buster Hotch."

"I believe in him!" Hotch snapped. "This discussion is over."

Reid fingered the edge of his watchband, his mind on Kira, only half-paying attention to Hotch's defense of him. He glanced up to see JJ watching him. She smiled and gave him thumbs up.

"Thanks…" He said softly.

"I believe in you." She said confidently. "Just try to keep from getting shot this time. Henry needs you."

Emily laughed from behind him. "I believe in you too." She said. "I need you to come out of this so I can beat you at poker again."

Rossi snorted from next to Emily. "Let's make it unanimous."

"Geez… Please tell me you all aren't going to start clapping because I swear if you do…" Morgan began.

They all clapped except for Reid, Morgan and Hotch who was driving.

"Fine… I give up," Morgan complained. "I believe in you too." He said in a little kid's voice. He clapped twice. "But you better get out of there in one piece or I'll kill you," he added gruffly.

"Give it up Morgan." Emily said. "You won't win this one."

Morgan's phone beeped as he opened his mouth. "Morgan," he growled.

"Why so grumpy hot stuff?" Garcia said happily.

He put her on speakerphone. "Ask Hotch." He suggested.

"Later," Hotch said. "What did you find out?"

"I got the subpoena for the medical records we needed."

"That was quick," JJ said.

"Do I want to know?" Hotch asked, as he turned right to the interstate.

"No sir," Garcia answered, not at all concerned with his tone. "All of the victims were patients of Dr. Mount joy. Only three of them billed their insurance. Perhaps the others didn't want anyone to know they were seeing a shrink."

"There's a huge stigma associated with seeing a therapist." Reid said going into lecture mode. "Many people feel that if their family, friends or employer know they're in therapy they'll look at them differently, or not trust them. In reality, talking to a therapist often results in closure of childhood traumas. Most people don't understand how talking to an objective third party can be liberating."

"Spoken from experience?" Morgan asked.

_Yeah… Tell him the truth Spencer. I'm sure he'd love to hear that. _

_Not now!_

"None of your business," Reid said calmly.

"And that's why no one wants to talk about going to a shrink." JJ pointed out.

"Focus everyone," Hotch demanded from the driver's seat.

"Anyway," Garcia continued. "There's a rear entrance to the first floor of the building. Dr. Mount joy's office is on the first floor which will make it easier."

"Are the plainclothes in position?" Hotch asked.

"Yes sir…"

"We'll be there in fifteen minutes. Tell DCPD and SWAT to stay out of sight until Reid gives the signal."

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"How was your week?" Dr. Mount joy asked as Kira took her seat in front of his desk.

"It was fine." She said, resorting to the old standby.

Something was making the hair stand up on the back of her neck. The office was too quiet. She suddenly wanted to be gone.

"I think we're past, 'I'm fine." Dr. Mount joy said with an encouraging smile. "Why don't you tell me more about Dr. Reid?"

"We went out a couple of times. He's very nice." She said, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. She shouldn't be talking about him to the doctor, even if he promised confidentiality. What if he made her say that she knew about Ian?

"I'm sure he is very nice. Still, I know he's not the right one for you." Dr. Mount joy said.

She looked up in surprise at the irritated tone in the doctor's voice. He'd never spoken to her that way. Suddenly, the office with its red carpet, heavy gold drapes and dark wood paneling stifled her. She wanted to run to the window, rip open the curtains and open a window for fresh air.

"Kira," he prodded her attention back to him. He didn't smile. His eyes tracked her face as she turned her attention away from the windows.

"Why did you say that?" She asked.

"What do you think I said? Many times our ears play tricks on us and we hear the things we want to say, but don't want others we _trust_ to hear." He said placing emphasis on the word trust.

"You said Spencer isn't the right one for me." Kira said.

"I didn't say that," Dr. Mount joy disagreed. His eyes were kind again, so that she began to doubt her ears. "I think you want to say it."

"Why would I say it?" She asked twisting her mother's ring on her finger. "Your mind is trying to show that you really don't trust him. Has he done something to frighten you?" He asked while taking his usual notes on a yellow legal pad.

"I don't know what you mean." She vacillated.

"Do you remember what we talked about three weeks ago?" He asked.

Her face got very hot again. She couldn't believe that she'd revealed such a private detail to him.

"I said I'd never had a serious boyfriend." She kept her head down as she spoke.

"You're afraid of intimacy." Dr. Mount joy said. "I can teach you how to embrace that side of your personality."

She looked up to see that Dr. Mount joy had left his chair and stood over her. "Don't be afraid. You are very beautiful."

He reached out and touched her hair. "You should wear it down all the time. I don't like it when you pull it up."

"Don't touch me." She leaned away from him.

"I know you don't like to be touched." He bent down so that his face, with his ice blue eyes, was inches from her. "Let me show you the pleasures of the flesh you've denied yourself for so long." He whispered.

"Leave me alone." She shoved at him with her hands.

He grabbed her shoulders with a vice-like grip. He mashed his mouth down her hers pushing his tongue against her lips.

"No…" She shouted jerking back.

Her hand flailed out knocking the glass swan she liked to the floor. She kicked out with her feet as hard as she could. He grunted and slapped her face so hard it was as if bricks had collided with her skin. She whimpered as her hands scrambled through the air.

He yanked her to her feet just as she blindly grabbed the wooden nameplate on the front of his desk. She brought it down on his head as hard as she could. He yelped as blood spurted from his scalp.

"I'll kill you." He growled, reaching for her despite the blood dripping down and into his right eye.

She tried to back away, but tripped over the chair. She fell, knocking her head on the arm of the chair. Dr. Mount joy knelt over her grabbing her throat with both hands. He squeezed her neck hard. She tried to draw a breath but the pain was everything. She took tiny little sips of air and pounded his arms with her fists. He squeezed harder as grey dots began to swim across her vision. His flushed and scarlet face faded in and out of her vision. She tried to throw him off her body, but she was getting so weak. She reached up with her hand and scratched hard at his left hand. He snarled and held on to her neck as she bucked and tried to scream. Only a gurgle escaped her lips. She panted liked a dog in summer heat as the grey dots began to turn black and fill her sight.

Then his hands left her neck. She drew in a huge breath and began to cough as he moved off her. He smiled down at her, but she could only think about trying to get her breath back. He unzipped his pants, pulled down his briefs and straddled her. "I'm going to show you want happens to whores." He informed her as his hand fumbled at her zipper. "You'll learn your place little girl, or I'll kill you."

She shook her head and tried to scream, but her throat ached and burned. "You can't speak or scream. Your throat is swollen and traumatized. Don't worry… It won't hurt, at least, not _too_ badly."

She lifted her knee and slammed it into his groin. He howled in pain and rolled off her. She pushed up onto her elbows pushing away from him as he writhed on the floor. She lifted one of her feet and kicked out connecting with his face. His nose cracked and he screamed. The blood flowed like a river from his broken nose. She would have laughed, but terror and her throat prevented her from giving voice to her savage glee.

She pushed up to a sitting position as Dr. Mount joy tried to get to his feet. Her heart leaped in her chest when he reached out for her.

"Freeze! FBI!" Someone commanded in a very loud voice.

Her eyes wheeled to the left. Spencer stood in the door with his gun in his hands. "Kira… Stay there. Get up Dr. Mount joy and put your hands over your head."

"She'll never make you happy Dr. Reid," He said as he staggered to his feet. "Sooner or later you'll resent her."

"Shut up… And turn around." Reid insisted as he moved closer to the doctor, putting himself between him and Kira. He held the gun on him as he continued to stare murderously at Kira.

Hotch and Morgan entered the room a few minutes later. Hotch cuffed the doctor and led him away. Reid holstered his gun and hurried to Kira. "I'm sorry I didn't get here faster." He murmured as he held her tight.

She couldn't speak, but she seemed to understand. She clung to him tightly even when he wanted her to go to the hospital. "Please don't leave me alone." She managed to whisper around the pain in her throat.

"I'll never leave you again." He promised.

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"I'm proud of you." Hotch said to Reid as they waited for the medics to look over Kira's injuries.

"I didn't have to do anything." Reid said. "Kira did most of the work for us." He glanced over at her sitting in the open ambulance with a blanket over her shoulders. JJ sat next to her talking softly.

"Yes… She's an amazing young woman." Hotch agreed.

"Yeah… I never would've expected it." Morgan said.

"Maybe that's because you don't look close enough." Reid said defensively.

"Hey… I'm not dissing on your woman." Morgan said seriously. "She's one hell of a little lady."

Reid smiled. "Yeah… She is." He agreed and moved over to the ambulance.

"Gotta give the kid credit…" Morgan began.

"Morgan," Rossi interrupted. "Reid's a grown man, stop calling him kid."

Morgan only nodded and fell silent.

"Look at us," Rossi continued. "We're all here alone, while the socially awkward genius has something more precious then gold over there. Good for him." He turned and left them there in the late afternoon light.

Emily smirked at Morgan. "He's right…"

Hotch finally gave them a small smile. "Come one… Let's wrap this up."

"What about my man?" Morgan asked.

"He's right where he's most needed. Don't you think?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah… I suppose you're right."

_**A/n can anyone spot the literary reference in this chapter? Three more chapters left**_


	21. Pain

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Pain_**

Spencer closed the door and faced Kira who stood staring at him with tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why are you apologizing?" Reid asked in surprise.

"I should've known," She whispered over her aching throat, her words hitching over her breathing. "I trusted him. Why didn't I see?"

She went to the couch, sat down, and began to cry. He stood where he was twisting his hands together because crying women freaked him out. What could he say to her that would make her feel better?

Just listen, were Emily's words of wisdom to him. She said that girls don't need a man to fix them. It went against the logic of his brain though.

Kira looked up at him and her misery went straight to his heart. She'd nearly died at the hands of a manic. If he had lost her, and the opportunity to find out where these wonderful new feelings could take him…

He went to the couch and sat next to her. He put a shaking arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. She curled into his arm and sobbed against his chest. "I was so afraid that I'd never see you again." She said.

"Me too," He said softly.

The slight scent of vanilla from her skin and hair tickled his nose. His palms tingled as his hands rubbed her arms. A voice that didn't have anything to do with Ian told him that he needed to get out of there. Instead, he used his right hand to lift her chin. He took off her glasses and set them on the coffee table.

"You have beautiful eyes." He said shyly.

"There's nothing special about me." She said, tears rolling down her face.

"That's not true. You're the bravest person I know." He brushed the tears from her face with his thumb.

"Spencer…"

He answered the unspoken request of her eyes by kissing her gently on the tip of her nose. She laughed and tangled her hands in his hair, pulling their faces together so that all they could see were each other's eyes.

"You have the most angelic face." She said. "I feel so safe with you."

He untangled from her hands and tried to stand but she gripped him tight. "Please don't go." She begged.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He resisted.

"Spencer please…"

He let her pull him back down into her arms. He kissed her mouth, tentatively, because he hadn't kissed anyone since Lila Archer. What if she didn't like it?

"Wow…" She said when they pulled away. "That was nice."

"Not as great as your other boyfriends." He frowned.

"I only kissed one other boy when I was sixteen. His name was Jamie and he was cute, but not as sweet as you." She said.

"No more talking," He said stroking her hair. "Remember what the doctor said."

"Then don't talk," she whispered.

She initiated a kiss that sent waves of tingles down his spine to his belly and all the way to his toes. He pushed his tongue tentatively against her teeth. She responded eagerly allowing him access that sent more tingles along his spine.

For the first time in his life, he wasn't thinking or trying to analyze the data gathered by his brain. He let his body do what it wanted to do and it was bliss.

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Kira took a couple of seconds to wonder if letting this happen with Spencer was right. This overwhelming feeling of intimacy frightened her to her toes, but he wouldn't hurt her like the others. He was sweet and kind, so she let her mind and body be conquered by a gentle hand.

Somehow, beyond her understanding of how it happened, their clothes ended up on the floor. His hands and fingers started a fire in her skin and belly. There was pain at their joining. She gasped around it and Spencer went still.

"Did I hurt you," He asked breathlessly.

"Shh… It's okay."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not complaining Spencer." She whispered ignoring the pain in her throat. "I want this. Don't spoil it."

His eyes suddenly changed. It happened so fast she almost didn't see. The color shifted from dark chocolate to black. "I was wrong about you. You're quite the wildcat." His silken tone carried an accent she'd never heard in his voice. "What you did to that Dr. Mount joy was a complete turn on."

"Spencer," she said uncertainly.

"Oh he's not here. He can't take big emotional swings. That's why you need me baby."

He kissed her hard devouring her mouth with a fevered intensity that was predatory.

"Stop it… Get off me." She tried to scream, but the pain in her throat hurt so badly tears sprang into her eyes.

"I told you to relax." Ian said with a wicked grin. "I promise you won't be sorry."

She struggled trying to push him off her body, feeling like she was back in Dr. Mount joy's office again. It was like time had turned in on itself. "Go away… I want Spencer. I hate you." She whispered dryly.

"Spencer doesn't know how to treat a lady." He slid his hands up and down her bare torso as she twisted under him.

"Please stop it…." She punched out with her hand catching him under the chin and knocking his teeth together.

He shouted in pain, rolling off her and the couch they lay on, hitting his head on the edge of her wooden coffee table. He was still as death while she lay sobbing, curled up like a badly frightened child.

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He opened his eyes to the sound of heartbroken sobbing. He scrambled to his feet and groaned around the pain that exploded from the back of his head. Kira lay curled up in the fetal position, naked and shivering. "Kira…"

She jerked away from his touch. "Go away." She groaned. "I don't want you. I want Spencer back."

"It's me… It's Spencer. I promise." He reached down to touch her hair, but she jerked away from him.

He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. "Go away…"

He didn't want to leave, but she jerked away from him when he tried to touch her cheek. It hurt more than he thought possible that she refused to let him touch her after they'd had such a sweet time together.

Until Ian had ruined everything.

He hastily dressed in the clothes he'd scattered over the floor. He left his shirt un-tucked and his socks on the floor next to his shoes. He stood for a minute staring at her in the low light of one lamp shining in the corner of the room. She twitched and whimpered like a small child, which cut him to the core.

_How much could a person take until they simply went away?_

She rolled over to face the couch, not acknowledging his presence. He perched carefully on the edge of the couch to watch her. He reached out a hand and touched her calf. She didn't jerk away so he spoke softly to her.

"I told you I'd never leave you alone again and I meant what I said."

"Spencer?"

She opened her eyes and stared at him, her eyes filled with a deep mistrust that hurt more than he could ever imagine.

"I'm here…"

"Did you make him go away?" She croaked.

"Ian's gone… I promise."

"H-how c-can y-you p-promise h-he w-won't c-come o-out a-again?" She asked, stuttering over every other word. "I n-never w-want t-to s-see h-him a-again. H-he r-ruined e-everything."

"I know Kira. I'm sorry. I promise you I'm going to see someone that will make him go away."

Kira watched him for a very long time, as though she was trying to come to some kind of decision that would change the rest of her life. He waited, knowing that if he moved or spoke the spell would break and he might lose her forever.

She moved quickly jumping into his lap and his arms. She cried for so long he thought she must have used up all the tears she had left, but he let her cry without speaking. "I wanted it to be special." She choked.

"I know… I wanted the same thing. I should have said no. Our emotions were on the edge. I should've have let it get that far. I should have known Ian would take advantage."

"Hey," She looked at him through swollen red eyes. "You weren't alone. I was there too."

He forced a smile. "We should talk after we get some sleep. I'll stay on the couch."

"You don't have too. I don't mind if you stay in my room."

He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. Until I find away to control Ian for good, we can't be intimate again."

She nodded. "Alright… You're the profiler." She made a weak joke, but he laughed.

"I think I might be falling for you Ms. Reynolds, if that's okay with you."

She pretended to think about it for a while. "I think I feel just the same Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Reid."

"This should be fun." Reid quipped.

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When Reid opened his eyes to Kira's living room, it was with a big smile on his face. Her couch was much more comfortable then his lonely bed and he didn't have to work. Hotch had told him at the hospital that he could take as much time as he needed.

He looked over at the clock on Kira's DVR. It was just after seven in the morning. It felt earlier because the sun filtering into the room had a grey cast to the light. He sat up and stretched. His eyes flicked to his right and the hall that led to Kira's bedroom. He wondered if she was up. He decided to go see.

Her door was wide open, so he decided it would be okay for him to go inside and see if she were sleeping. Her bed was to his left. He smiled to see her laying there flat on her back, spread eagle. She snored a little, which he found very cute for some reason.

_You're pathetic and you make me sick. You stand there like an idiot. She nearly brained us and we're still here._

_I'm not listening to you anymore. You took advantage of a sweet girl that I care for. I'm tired of you messing up my life. I'm going to find away to make you go away for good._

_You can't get rid of me Spencer. You haven't been listening to what I've been trying to tell you for years. I'm part of you. _

_Not for long…_

Kira opened her eyes, and jerked away from Spencer with a yelp.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't be in here." He backed away feeling heat race over his cheeks.

"Spencer?" She sat up and rubbed her eye with her fists like a little child.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry I'm a little out of it." She reached out for him so he went to sit of the edge of the bed.

"It's okay… How is your throat? You sound a little better."

She swallowed hard enough for him to hear the click in her throat. "It feels a little better. I think I'm just gravelly from sleeping."

"I know you just woke up, but I wanted to talk to you." He said picking at the edge of her blanket."

"How about you make the coffee and we'll talk. I need a shower to really wake up." She asked.

"Alright, I'll meet you in the kitchen.


	22. Pleasure

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Pleasure_**

When Kira exited the bathroom, she smelled more than coffee emanating from the kitchen. The delicious smell of bacon and other breakfast foods beckoned her. Did Spencer know how to cook? It seemed like he lived on coffee and muffins for breakfast. Still she didn't know him that well. Even though he had saved her life, she thought as she went into the bedroom to change into her clothes for the day. She hurried to throw on a pair of jeans and a purple tee shirt even though the urge to go through her closet for an hour nearly overwhelmed her better sense.

She padded barefoot down the hall, fluffing out her hair so that it fell the way she wanted around her face. Her bangs were too long. She desperately needed them cut, she thought as she blew them away from her face. Maybe she should cut all of her hair and try something new, and get contacts too. She fidgeted with the arms of her glasses as she turned the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead at the sight of Spencer pouring out coffee.

She smirked. He'd obviously been busy but not the way she thought. There were white bags of food from the local fast food restaurant on the counters. He'd unwrapped and plated eggs and cheese biscuits that were her favorite. How did he know that?

"Spencer…"

He jumped in surprise and whirled around. "I didn't hear you." He squeaked in that adorable way that made her stomach tingle.

"I'm sorry. I was just watching you make breakfast." She teased.

"Oh right, well I am hopeless in the kitchen."

She looked him up and down remembering how his long, slim body looked last night before Ian has spoiled everything.

Spencer left the food and hurried to her side. "Are you okay?'

"I was just thinking about last night. You have a great body Dr. Reid."

He went pink in the cheeks. "I'm really sorry about everything."

"Why are you apologizing? It was Ian's fault. I know the difference between him and you. You're the one I want." She said hugging him.

"You're amazing," Spencer hugged her close fitting her head into his chest as though she had been made for him. "I can't understand why you haven't thrown me out of here."

She pulled away to look up at his unhappy face. "I'm not going to kick you out Spencer. I care for you very much. You're the sweetest man I've ever met. You actually care about me. You're not just in it for the sex."

He laughed. "Ian thinks I'm nuts." He said.

She grimaced. "I think he's the crazy one, but he has protected you since you were a little boy so I can't hate him."

His mouth fell open in shock. "How can you say that? He tried to rape you." He said very loudly.

"I know that Spencer, but I also know that he cares about you in his own twisted way."

Spencer sighed. "Let's sit down and have something to eat. We'll talk about Ian and what I decided to do after we're done."

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Kira was cleaning up after breakfast, which was as simple as washing out the coffee pot and throwing out the paper items from the fast food place. She put on another pot of coffee knowing that Spencer would want more.

He stood in front of the refrigerator watching her because she'd insisted on cleaning up after he'd provided the meal. He had one leg crossed over the other leg and his arms crossed over his chest. His wavy hair drooped in his eyes a bit and he didn't smile at her.

"You don't have to do this." She said.

He slumped a little and shifted to put his hands in his pockets. "Come on, let's go sit on the couch and get comfortable. This is a bit of a long story."

She followed him to the couch, sitting down so that she could wrap her arms around him and put her head on his chest. He tensed up for a minute, and then she felt him relax. If he had to tell this to the back of her head rather than her face it might be easier.

"When I was twelve I graduated from high school," he began to tell her. "I was so happy because I thought going to college would be better than suffering at the hands of high school bullies.

He shifted against her, tightening his hold on her as she lay back against him. "I was attacked by members of the football team that year. They used one of the senior girls to lure me. She was eighteen and beautiful. I trusted her and followed her to the football field. They stripped me naked, tied me to one of the goal posts and taunted me for hours. They finally got bored and left. It was Ian that got me loose so I could walk home around midnight. I panicked, but he took over or I might have been there until the next morning."

She sniffed back the tears that trickled down her face but he knew. "It's okay," he said gently. "Don't cry."

"It's not okay," she cried. "You were a little kid and they were bullies. They should pay for what they did to you."

"I think them living with it is punishment enough. Now when they look back they have to remember what they did and wonder why they made that decision."

She twisted around to look at him. He smiled at her sadly. "You're much more forgiving than I could be." She declared. "I hate them all for what they did to you."

"Shh…" He put a hand on her lips. "Don't hate anyone for me."

"Spencer…"

He shook his head. "I have more to tell you. I need to know you can handle it."

She sighed. "I'll handle it, but I'm not going to apologize for how I feel. Don't ask me to do that Spencer."

He heaved in a large breath. "Alright… I understand more than you know."

She reached up her face and kissed him lightly. "Please just tell me."

"When I came to the FBI I found the place I belonged. My best friends and family are there. I was happy for the first time in my life. Then a case changed everything. A man was killing people in Georgia. Do you remember JJ?" He asked absently stroking her hair.

"Yes."

"Hotch sent her and me to talk to what we thought was a witness, a Tobias Henkel."

His voice shook and cracked so she tightened her hold on his body. "You don't have to." She began in a whisper.

"I do."

She nodded and listened to him retell his realization that Henkel was the un-sub, how Henkel kidnapped and tortured him for two days. She cried for him and the loss of some of his innocence and happiness chipped away from what he'd lost as a child leaving him beaten and broken and addicted to a powerful drug. "I had to kill him. I didn't want to but I had no choice. Tobias tried to save my life, but his father and Rafael only wanted to hurt and kill me."

"It took me four months to stop taking Dilaudid. I knew if the FBI found out I would lose my job. I made it nearly a year before another case almost sent me back over the edge. I watched a father kill the boy that had kidnapped his daughter. He blew his head off with a shotgun right in front of me. I didn't say the right thing or -"

She kissed him hard, cutting off his explanation. He pulled her close to him letting his mouth open for her tongue. He pushed his hands up under her tee shirt to her bra. He began undoing it when his good sense stopped him. He pulled away from her, his chest heaving with pent up desire. "No," he whispered as she tried to kiss him.

"It's okay," she said.

She wasn't wearing her glasses, so her hazel eyes enveloped him in their warmth that pulsed from head to foot.

"I won't hurt you again," he pledged, getting off the couch. "I should leave right now."

Oh but he didn't want to go, even if he had promised her he'd keep a distance between them.

"It's different today." She said getting up and wrapping her arms around his neck like a vice. "You're different," she promised him. "I need you so much. Please don't shut me out."

He let her lead him into her bedroom against his better judgment, but for once Ian was silent in his head so he took a chance.

CMCMCMCM

Two hours later Reid tucked Kira into his arms as he lay on his side looking at the window she'd opened so they could hear the rainstorm. It had come up suddenly and the pounding of the water on the metal carport was so loud it drowned out the beating of his heart.

He kissed the top of her head and she sighed loudly. "You're amazing," she said repeating his praise to her that morning.

"I don't agree with that," he hugged her tight. "You just took a huge risk."

"I knew you'd stay in control." She said.

He let his eyes close as the ozone-laced air flowed in through the open window. "How did you know?"

"You told me. Every time you've had a blackout, it's been because your emotions were raw and angry or just plain terrified. I didn't see that in your eyes when you were talking. You were unhappy, but not furious like last night."

He turned her over so he could see her face. "Are you sure you're not a profiler?" He asked in mock suspicion.

"Nope… You're just easy to read."

He grinned down at her. "People tell me that all the time."

"It's true." She declared, snuggling closer into his arms, which was quite a feat.

"I can't believe how different you are. You were so shy and now I see this sarcastic funny side to you that I like."

She pulled an arm free to smack his chest. "I'm always like that with people I know well. Its new people I have a hard time with," she admitted.

"Oh, so you know me Ms Reynolds," he joked. "Would that be in the biblical sense?"

She smacked him on the head this time. "If that's your measurement then I guess I know you better than anyone else in my life."

He smirked at her as the rain began to slow. A gentle breeze wafted over him bringing little goose bumps out on his shoulders. "I'm glad this happened." He said, suddenly very serious.

"Me too," she agreed softly.

"I wanted to tell you before we got distracted." He sighed as she kissed his chest. "I'm going to see a doctor. I want to try to make Ian go away or, if I can't, then see if I can meld him into me so that he doesn't hurt you again or risk my job."

She reached up to stroke his forehead. "I know you have to. I'm going to be there every step of the way."

He drew in a deep breath for the next question that might make her mad. "I hope you'll join me."

She pulled away and climbed out of bed. "I'll be there for you Spencer, but I'm not going to see another shrink. I've had enough for a life time."

She pulled on her robe and drew on her glasses as she left her bed and he pulled on his boxers. "I'm not forcing you to go. I just want you think about it." He walked over to hug her tight.

"I'll think about it because you asked."

He stood there holding her close for a long time rubbing his hands over her back. "I promise you, we're going to get through this together."

"You better mean that," she teased.

"I can't do it without you." He said honestly.

"Then you don't have to worry because you'll never be without me again."

**_A/n one more chapter, and epilogue coming up tomorrow_**


	23. Epilogue

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Epilogue_**

Kira pushed the print button and waited anxiously for her document to begin spitting out of the printer. She couldn't take her eyes off the sheets of paper as they slid out into a pile. She began playing nervously with her mother's ring as more and more pages piled up in the tray.

Her nerves sang as the paper rolled out of the printer. She couldn't stand to watch it so she went to the living room window of the home she shared with Spencer and looked out at the driveway.

A shiny, brand new car in scarlet red sat there gleaming in the sunlight. Spencer had tried to tell her that people that drove red cars tended to attract more attention from the police, but she didn't care. She had the car of her dreams and a license to drive it thanks to Spencer and his encouragement.

The printer beeped signaling that it was out of paper halfway through the job. She replaced it with hands that shook like crazy. Finally, it was finished after a year of work. She couldn't wait to show it to Spencer when he got home.

She took the sheaf of papers into the dining are of the home Spencer had bought then six months ago. Everything was in preparation, the food, and the beer - because neither of them really liked wine - and the china.

She dropped Spencer's present on his plate and went to check the casserole in the oven. It would be done to perfection in a few minutes. She checked her watch impatiently although Spencer would be one time. He was punctual to a fault when he wasn't on a case.

The door opened and she jumped, turning to glare at Spencer as he hurried in the door. Her frown soon left when she noticed how happy he was. His beautiful eyes radiated joy as he scooped her up in his arms.

"I'm done as of today." He proclaimed. "Dr. Brody said she believes that Ian won't be making any more appearances as long as I keep up the mental exercises she gave me. I told her it was you that kept me together, so to speak."

Kira slapped his shoulder. "Give me a break."

"We need to talk about this violent streak of yours." He said, smirking down at her. He let go of her and rubbed his shoulder. "I think you sprained it." He complained.

"You're a big baby and you exaggerate." She retorted. "Sit down and behave or you won't get the surprise I have for you."

She pointed at the table. He followed her hand and his eyes widened as he took in the pile of paper at his plate. "You finished it!" He shouted.

"Well… It's not finished per se. It's just the first draft."

She chewed nervously on her lower lip as he went to the table and picked up the sheaf of paper. He began to read at lightening speed so she went to the kitchen to dish up their supper.

She had just finished with serving up the casserole when he put down the last page. She sat looking anxiously at his face. He didn't say anything or look at her. He just stared down at the last page.

"So what do you think?" She asked feeling some of her old self-consciousness take hold of her chest and squeeze it. What if he hated it?

"I think it's wonderful." He said looking a bit stunned. "Is that really how you see me?"

"Yes." She said simply. "I love you S-Man."

"So it's all through the rose colored glasses of love." He gently teased.

"Well duh," She shot back. "Eat your food."

"I'm so lucky to have you to fawn over me the way you do." He sighed.

"You have it so good that even Morgan is jealous." She reminded him.

"Speaking of Morgan, he's been bugging me about your book. They all want to know when they get to read it."

Kira grinned conspiratorially at him. "I told you they have to wait until it's published. They'll all get a signed copy if they want."

Reid laughed. "You can't blame them… They're all anxious to see how they fit into the story of a brilliant, handsome profiler that kicks ass for a living."

"I'm going to tell Morgan you called him brilliant and handsome." She threatened.

"That's very funny," He scowled.

"Hey, there's only one handsome, brilliant butt kicking agent for me. After all, you taught me to drive despite all of Morgan's teasing. I'd say that makes you the strongest man I know." She laughed.

He left his chair, pulled her up into his arms and kissed her hard on the lips. "You better remember that." He said breathlessly.

"I will as long as you remember how much I love you."

"I love you too Kira. This year has been the best year of my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

She stroked his face with her hand. "I think Ian did you a favor."

Spencer went back to his seat at the table. "Why do you think that?"

"Because he hates me and that made you interested." She said matter-of-factly."

"That's not why I was interested. It wasn't reverse psychology that drew me to you." He assured her.

"So you've said a thousand times." She picked her chunk of French bread apart as he ate some of his salad. "What if you saw something in me that you needed, even if it was subconsciously? Ian would know that and that's why he resisted. He's been gone for months Spencer. You don't need him anymore. I think you're mind knows that."

"I hope you're right." Spencer agreed. "I know most split personalities don't go away, that the people dealing with them often end up in an institution. I think you saved me from that. I can keep my job now without fear. I'll love you forever just for that."

She smiled, her heart jumping at his gentle tone. "I told you I'd never leave and I never will. You're stuck with me baby."

Spencer stood up and turned on the radio. He held out his hand to her and they began to dance to a slow jazz tune that was playing. "I wouldn't have it any other way Ms. Reynolds."


End file.
